Friday, May 29, 2009

Progressive Med Day 3

Today I went for my first hyperbaric oxygen therapy (thought of you LG) and it was very cool. Sucked in the oxygen, read, listened to my iPhone, and did not get claustrophobic, yeah. Then i went to the sauna, but found out my body is in worse shape than i thought cause i didn't sweat after 30 minutes. Then i went into the kitchen and spent an hour with Lupa. She is one giant ball of knowledge. I spent an hour at Whole Foods and had one guy help me for most of it. It is a little difficult finding very specific things. Tomorrow i am going to the farmers market to find free range organic chicken and unpasteurized milk. So excited. Feeling great today, but a little tired after my adventure.

Will have more to report soon., Loli

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Progressive Medicine Day 2

I received so much information today, i am not sure where to start. I went from re-writing my will before the appointment to telling Travis i think i can do another Ironman in a few years. This place is so thorough i am blown away. My neighbor was kind enough to go with me and the appointment lasted 6 1/2 hours. Everyone was so helpful and i got to meet the oncologist whom i loved. He is a former radiologist oncologist who realized there was more to life than writing scripts. After 30 years he went back to school and is very knowledgeable in alternative treatments. He even gave me some great info about MS for my dad. A very exciting day and I feel so great about my future for the first time since the new PET scan results. So thank you all for helping me get the extra care i need. I am extremely grateful to have found an even better place than CTCA.

Hugs and kisses

Friday, May 22, 2009

Progressive Medicine

Today i went to a place like CTCA, but they don't do traditional meds. Not in love with the doctor's bedside manor, but if i can get some alternative care here then I could save some time and money. They are going to test me for everything under the sun. It will be nice and scary to see how many toxins are in my body. I read this, and the Dr. confirmed it, but children are born today with 300 toxins in there body (TJ i thought you would appreciate the knowledge). Anyways, they are going to help my body get in better shape to fight this disease and all the crap they are about to put in my body. The family is off to eat and i am off to watch them.

Have a great long weekend.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


First I want to thank all the F-Cup boys for letting my husband have a "Cancer Free" weekend. It was so great he could get away and have some fun. We both wanted to thank you for your other gift. Very unexpected, but much appreciated. We have already racked up a hefty bill this month with ER visits, new co-pays and drug costs. It is amazing how much this stuff costs. So thank you all very much.

Since Monday i have only been out of bed to go to doctor's appointments and the kids end of school events. I am on lots of pain meds such as Oxycodone, Vicadin, etc. along with sleep aids and all of them make me sick. Not to mention Herceptin makes me nauseous so the combo is not good. Not sure if it is the meds or the pain, but i cant eat. Everything makes me feel sick and my intestines are not happy either. I have lost 6 pounds in 4 days. I would never normally complain about that, but i have no energy and I am getting leg craps because I'm not getting any nutrition. I drink veggie broth and eat as many veggies as i can tolerate. Inevitably everything makes me feel sick.

Tuesday we decided to call Pop Pop (Grandpa Vickers) and he was up here in 4 hours. He is not the fastest man in the world, but this really touched us with his speediness. He has gone above and beyond the call of Pop Pop duty. He said not to tell anyone, but he has helped with laundry, washed all my dishes, bathed Gavin, changed diapers, and puts Gavin to bed like a pro. Not to mention he has taken Riley out to many times to count. He maybe exhausted by the time he gets home, but he is not showing any sings yet. We are so grateful to have him and Gavin and Sammy are thrilled. He is very generous with the cupcakes and his time. The first day he was here, he drove Gavin to school, went to a school lunch, brought Gavin home, put him to bed (not a small task BTW), walked the dog, brought Sammy to swim practice, folded laundry, did dishes, and spoke with endless people who came over to see how i was. All this while i was in bed or at the doctors. Love the Pop Pop.

I start the new trial in the next 10 days and i may loose my hair AGAIN. I just got it long enough to put in a ponytail. I am so pissed, but Travis told me to get a good wig this time that wont itch so i am going for the Lola (the long blond look)...I keep looking thru magazine to see who i want to look like

I have to say i have the best friends ever. On Tuesday i just made a few calls and i had three different people here to take care of Gavin, a dog walker, dinner for just me and different food for the family, a friend bring homemade bread (organic of course) and several friends who were willing to drop anything to help me. Pop Pop is blown away from all the support and love we receive from all of you. We are too. Thank you.

Well my family is playing guitar hero, so i think i am going to enjoy them for a while.
Love to all,

Monday, May 18, 2009

Infussion today

As Farrah said, "I get sweaty palms going to the clinic." That is exactly how i felt all weekend. We got to Emory at 8:30 this morning, saw the doctor at 10:15 and of course she was in a rush, spoke with the clinical nurse, she basically gave me a bunch of papers and said read it over and let me know if you want to do the study. I am back to being a number and it stinks. I finally got in to get my infusion about 12:00. I had to take my premeds for an hour and then i got my herceptin. It wasn't so bad, but not my favorite place. We got home around 3:20. Long day for all of us.

I am going to look at a few alternative clinics, but this study may exclude all alternatives. Not happy about that, but that seems to be the nature of clinical trials. Therefore i am going to have to be on a strict diet. Not sure what that is yet, but I am sure it wont include anything with sugar, dairy, fat or meat. The only day i will have real problems with this is when they give me my premeds. The decadron (steroid) makes me so hungry and gives me roid rage. I may have to eat my arm off on those days except that is meat. Oh well!

This study has two trials in this phase. Not sure which one i will be on yet, but i either get some meds everyday or every 8 days. I am eager to get as much in my body as possible, but the side effects include vomiting. So not looking forward to that.

Sammy tested for her green belt in karate today and got an award at swim practice for her cooperation, leadership, hard work, etc. So very proud of her. This is Gavin's last week of school. He has 6 weeks of camp that will help and give Sammy and i some time together. Not to mention time for all my appointments.

I know you all think i am crazy for watching the Farrah story, but it really helped me put my emotions in place. Yes i cried and begged God to save my life, but it also helped me understand why i feel the way i do and go on with everything i have. It is not Farrah i am interested in, but that she is going thru what i am going thru. Just like my support group. It is amazing how a little empathy can really help.

I find out my MUGA results tomorrow and have an MRI for my back June 1. I am hoping it is not cancer, but it would be really nice to know why it hurts so much everyday.

BTW, i don't think i explained this very well, but we never made it to Chicago because they thought i had pneumonia. Luckily i did not and the antibiotics cleared up what ever it was except my back. We will not be going back to Chicago anytime soon because they don't have a trial currently available. I am excluded from most trials because i am triple positive (Her 2+, ER/PR). I know this means nothing to you , but the Her 2 is what makes my cancer so bad. It basically teaches my cells to reject all the drugs they give me. This new drug (RAD 001) breaks down the cells so the Tykerb and Herceptin can penetrate the cells in order to kill them. The bad news is that any Chemo including this one goes after all cells, not just the bad ones. That is why I could get so sick on these drugs. The study should open in the next two weeks and i will keep you all posted.

Thanks for all your prayers

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Pray, eat, vomit, sleep

Although i know that pesticides, chemicals, food, stress, nutrition, etc., can all contribute to cancer, it is difficult to get my harms around it and fully understand what i need to do. It seems when i do understand it someone changes the game and confuses me. Therefore, I don't want to each anything unless it is organic, free range, fat free, no dairy, no meat, etc. Then when i do eat i feel like barfing. My meds have kicked in again, but i am trying to find that perfect balance. Any one who wants to come up with a vegan menu with no sugar, i would love that.


Friday, May 15, 2009

Dear God

I made the mistake of watching the Farrah Story tonight and had to get on my knees and ask God to save my life. Travis is out of town so I am laying next to Gavin watching my beautiful little boy sleep wondering what will happen to him when i am gone. Although i have no intention on giving up, i do have to face reality and my heart just aches for my precious children. All i ever wanted to do was be a great mom and now i might have to do it from the sidelines. How will Gavin ever know how much i love him. Will Sammy ever know that she is the sunshine in my life? Will they think i abandoned them? Will they ever forgive me?

Tonight my back hurts so much that my meds aren't working and i cant sleep. Thank goodness for Bianca, our incredible sitter, who is staying the weekend with me. Sammy had field day this morning, we had lunch with several families from school, had a play date, swim team, planted Sammy's garden, and had a sleep over. It was a great day and now i am paying for it.

Since yaya (Gavin language for Bianca) was here, i was able to do a lot of research and hopefully we can go to Boston and Dallas maybe next week. Although we had decided to go ahead with the trial at Emory, i don't want to put all my eggs in one basket. My cancer is way to smart to just trust one doctor these days.

My husband is on his annual golf trip with all his pals and I am wishing him a stress free weekend and lots of fun. He greatly deserves it.

Thanks for listening,

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Well we have decided to try the trial RAD 001 at Emory for now. We are still on the look out for other options, but we needed to make a decision. We see O'Regan on Monday and i will start taking herceptin again. The trial opens this month and can't wait for new side effects! Yippee! Riley is still doing great. Sammy is so responsible and wow my pain meds are kicking in again. I need to finish watching 90210 and then i will pass out. My back still hurts, but I am feeling better. Will post soon.


Saturday, May 9, 2009


The newest member has arrived. Riley is 5 months old and cute as can be. She is fast asleep at the moment, i think the kids tuckered her out. She is in love with Sammy and follows her all over the house. Sammy had to clean up her first poop. I don't think she likes this aspect, but really who does. We will post a lot more pictures soon. Happy day for the Vickers family.

Friday, May 8, 2009


Well, Wednesday might be one of the worst days i have had yet. I woke up from my nap and had a high temperature, was hallucinating, had sever back pains, dizzy and my body hurt. I would have thought i had the flu, but didn't know anyone that was sick although i was at the ER Sunday night. I had the sitter come watch the kids and my neighbor took me to the doctor. They ran every test know to man kind, but the only thing they could find was a gurgle in my chest so they did a chest x-ray, but found out yesterday that my lungs are clear. So unless the blood cultures come back today showing something, we haven't a clue as to why i am sick. It is so frustrating.

We are madly looking for a trial using all our resources and it is not moving as quickly as we would like. There is one trial here that i am eligible, but we find it highly unlikely that there is only one trial available for me in the entire US. So we are doing our homework to see what else is out there. I am in the process of contacting every cancer center I can find to see if they have trials i can be on. It is so crazy there isn't a better way.

As for the dog, i know everyone thinks we are crazy, but our family really needs a little joy in our lives. I am so tired of putting off life until i feel better. This may be as good as it gets for me and i need to be able to leave a little sunshine behind, just in case. So if you were in my shoes you might not think it was so crazy.

Forgot to mention, by MRI at CT scan need a few follow up visits, but nothing new yet.

Thanks for all your prayers
Love Laura

Monday, May 4, 2009

ER visit

I went to the ER last night, not so bad, they put me on antibiotics and Percocet. If i am not making sense...that is why. I am headed to the doctor tomorrow to see what this infection is and hopefully find out the results of my CT & MRI tests. Not sure i can take more bad news. The good news is Travis has agreed to get us a dog. Probably not the smartest thing to do, but i think we all need some joy in our lives. Sammy and i have been doing lots of research on training, electric fences,breeds, kid friendly, cost, etc. Gavin is just a crack up. He has such a personality know and has learned to say "I fustated mommy". He also loves his dump trucks. Put that in Gavin language and it comes out quite funny (drop the P and add an F). Sammy gets so embarrassed, but it totally cracks us up. Sammy and I also had a fun girls day Sunday and saw the Hannah Montana movie. I love spending time with her. Looking forward to Chicago on Thursday and we are getting our questions in order. Wow this post is so random. We had to get a new computer since ours died, we need our house painted desperately, and Sammy is an Indian women in her school opera that i am going to miss cause i will be in Chicago.

Wow my meds are really kicking in so i will post tomorrow with the results from the Doc.