Tuesday, August 31, 2010


Trav and I are on our way to Nashville to see a doctor about the T-DM1 trial. We have to drive 9 hours for a one hour meeting. Travis was not happy. Since we had hours of time to kill I decided to converse with my husband. Not something we do very often. In the last 4 months our relationship has been even more strained with every bad report we get. The worse the news the more stressed, unsure and withdrawn Travis gets. It's been hard to figure all this out but thinking my wife is going to dye, our savings is gone, the less money i make the closer to death she is, I have two kids I am responsible for, and i will be alone must all be terrifying. I can't even comprehend what goes thru his head on a good day much less that live revolves around me. He can ask any thing of me, I'm tired, I'm not the same person he married and there isn't anything except time that will come out of this. The sad part for me is it is difficult for him to enjoy the now since he is so concerned about the future. I pray everyday God will give him the grace he has given me to deal with all this. What good is time if I don't have him emotionally. That is what I need prayers for. With him I can do anything. 

Will post tomorrow what Dr. Yardley has to say. 

BTW we had a chance to have a free trip from the Jack and Jill foundation to Hawaii but can't go. So sad

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


We'll not what we had hoped. Chemo has once again failed me at the 6 month scan. I see the doc on Thursday to find out what chemo is left. Hopefully the side effects will be manageable.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Awesome Vaca

We just spent a week in Lake Tahoe, my niece turned 21, and my friends thru me a surprise birthday party in Sacto. It was very hard to come back to reality. I have chemo tomorrow and a PET scan so we shall see if this chemo will hold. I tolerate it fairly well so i would love to get good results. Not to mention i have never had a chemo last more than 3 months. Will post when i get results back.