Day 3 most likely in my future

This is my 4th attempt...I was admitted to the hospital last night cause I felt like CRAP. I thought I needed a transfusion and have been questioning pneumonia for a few weeks. After a CT, X-ray, a ton of blood work and 18 hours the are giving me blood and antibiotics. Shocking!!! Then the doctor came in after my first bag of antibiotics and doesn't think the spots in my lungs are pneumonia or cancer. So I immediately turned off the pump giving me the Leviquin and was pissed. I specifically questioned the PA about the pneumonia and wanted a culture done first but she was adamant that I start the antibiotics. I new I should have held my ground. Now I have to repair my already compromised immune system. They are keeping me another night or two to see if they can...I'm not sure.

Transfusion

It is 5 PM the next day and I'm only on my first bag of blood. Each one taking 2.5 hours. I'm so tired from all the drugs. They thought I had pneumonia put he on Levaquin then decided it was cancer and took me off the anti biotic and now they just don't know what it is. Not sure if were leaving tonight or not. More to come

Admitted

I went to Cali this weekend to see my parents and attend the fundraiser my friends were putting on for me (really fun BTW). It took a lot out of me. Went to progressive and had a difficult time getting home. Thought I would be okay if I just slept. I was wrong. I just kept getting worse. It was the same feeling I had when I got transfusions last summer. Not something you want to have done due to all the possible complications/side effects but I was getting desperate. I got everything worked out with Gavin, oncologist, ER, Travis and a ride. I had some breathing issues so they fast tracked me and I got in a room really quickly. They started giving me Delotid. 1 dose did nothing so that was scary. I have been on 2 doses every 2 hours and now I feel hungover. Need to ween myself but got a break from the other pain mess Ive been on for months. I had an X-ray, CT, EEG, lots of blood work and great nurses. It was so nice having Travis here to navigate for me. Love you Sparky. Waiting to rule out pneumonia, blood clot and a few other things, but the cancer in my lungs is not looking good. Will keep you posted.

Race 2011

The Ray of Life Race was amazing this year and the weather was spectacular. What I wanted to say at the race but couldn't was that I have been fighting this for 4 years. At the time of my first diagnosis they said there was a 100% chance that I would die. My doc told me to prepare to die so that I could live. He had faith in me, God and his abilities so I had no doubt I would live. I did everything he told me to do and it came back with a vengeance. He wished me luck and passed me on to the next doc who has put me thru chemo after chemo to see what will keep me alive for 6 more month max without killing me first from the treatment. I have been told many times that I should me dead from all the chemotherapy I have taken and they can't believe how great I look. That in where all of you come in. Chemo may keep me alive but your donations that allow me to do all the alternatives give me the ability to live and I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my toxic filled heart. I have put my life in your hands three years in a row and you have exceeded my expectations every single year. Through tears of joy, my life belongs to you. Can't wait To see you all next year.

New treatment

So I started the sallisinium last Monday and so far so good. There are a few things thar are a challenge like remembering to take the 2 pills 3G per day but only on the weekends where I get IV's all week. I get a lot more constipated and more pain but the pain is good it means the the Lymphs are selling and the homeopathic is working. It's hard to find things to eat since my diet is even more restrictive and I'm starving all the time. Good thing a chef is cooking for me. She has made some amazing stuff for the entire family. The weather has been incredible here so we have been outside a lot. That is always good medicine for me.

I have really emotional this past two weeks so a wake up with puffy eyes quite often so that's attractive, but I have also been able to pay it forward many times recently. It is amazing no matter how much pain I'm in, I always feel so much better when I can help someone else.

My sweet husband has been extra sweet this week and I have been eating it up.

Gavin told me last night that he loves me so much that he wants to cry. Love that kid

How much is a life worth

How much should you spend to save a life? How indebt should you go? Should you sell your house, cash out the kids college funds/savings, empty out the 401k??? How do you know when enough is enough? You can only beg your friends for so long. Life is hard and I'm willing to fight but at what cost and is there a correct answer?

Only God knows

So I decided it was time to really explain what is going on especially with Sammy. It was tuff especially when we talked about the stuff I might miss. Gavin started talking about Yoda dying, but gave me a huge hug and told me he hopes I don't die before we go to Hawaii. Got to love how kids think.

Saw the oncologist today and she doesnt seem as concerned as the trial oncologist but she is quite the optimist, so that gave me hope. She was willing to let me try some experimental treatments and then start chemo again if they dont work. She didn't mind the cancer being everywhere but doesnt like that I'm symtomatic. Meaning I have abdominal and back pain.

Preparing for the worst, hoping for the best and fighting like hell