I know how hard it is to overcome the expectations of your family and friends once your treatment is over. They truly think you will just bounce back to your old self. You, on the other hand, don’t even know where to find your old self. That and the strain of trying to stay strong and optimistic can take their toll. How many of us really take the time to realize what we have been through and just how much it has affected us? I did an earlier blog on depression that showed research and statistics. Depression is a big issue if you’re dealing with it, so it deserves a revisit now and then.
Dealing with chemo brain is depressing, but depression and chemo brain are not the same condition. I believe that many people experience depression during and after breast cancer treatment than are willing to admit. Diagnosis is overwhelming; fear of death, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation are all things that can take its toll on anyone’s psyche. For the survivor, the fear of recurrence and the struggle to regain control of your life can be the challenge that throws you into an emotional tailspin. Dealing with the onset of menopausal symptoms from treatment can also be a factor in depression
As reasonable as it is to expect that cancer survivors are going to feel a bit depressed, many survivors are still reluctant to discuss the symptoms with their family or doctor. The reasons aren’t clear, but the majority of people suffering from depression need to be encouraged by someone else to seek treatment. Even if you have the strength to put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay, if under it all you feel emotionally raw and distressed, it is time to tell someone.
I have had people dear to me suffer from depression, and it got worse when they didn’t address it. It is a real condition, and thankfully there are real treatment options. The one that worked for me was prayer and faith in God combined with the support of my friends. But first I had to tell someone about it (I started with God) before they could help me. I also sought out a Christian psychologist.
When you are looking for help, your doctor is a good place to start. There is no longer a stigma attached to mental issues. Just remember you have come through some pretty tough stuff. It’s time to drop the act. After all, you’re only human. You battled cancer and won, and now it’s time to take on the rest of what ails you to become truly healthy, because your life is worth it. I know that some of you really are okay, but there are those of you who suffer the low points, and it is to those individuals that I am speaking to.
With all my heart,
Kathy-Ellen"
3 comments:
Laura I am not only so amazed with how you have gotten through this last year, but I am so glad that you can be real on the blog with what you are feeling as well.
I can only imagine what you go through after most of the treatments are done.
A year ago my husband choked on his dinner and we had to call 911, he couldn't breath. I was not only frantic for him but I had to think about the kids not seeing there dad choke as he was banging his hands on the window, I had to decide if I wanted them to see the fireman help their dad, I thought it would scare them so I decided to keep them up stairs so they wouldn't see anything. The neighbors were over trying to help, it was crazy...Anyway make a long story short, that night after I put the kids to bed, I just started crying, it hit me all of a sudden how serious it was what happened to him, but the whole time it was happening I was like in another world, I was trying to make everyone else feel better, like nothing bad was happening to him.
That is what we mom's do, or us women do. We are always taking care of our family. We want them to see us strong and tuff and we want to protect them.
Laura, it is hitting you now, how intense and scary and how vulnerable you were this last year.
Now is the time for mental healing. It will take time and a lot of talking and feeling. One of the best blogs I read on here was the day of your one year anniversary of finding out you had cancer. You were at the gym and you told us you started crying to the gym teacher. That was the reality of your whole year, that cry, that release of all the emotions you had kept inside, mabey not to Travis, but to others.
All of us on this blog are all here for you Laura, not only to hear how postive things are going but also to hear the flip side.
I hope this makes sense...
I love you Laura--And the reality is.. Cancer Sucks!
Laura,
I'm so sorry to hear you've been having a rough time. Your friends DO want to know about it, the good and the bad. I'd be happy to hear about anything going on with you, anytime!
You have been through so much. No one can tell you what or how to feel. I can't imagine what you've been through. I amazed at how strong you've been through every step. Its perfectly expected to NOT feel so strong sometimes! You're entitled! :) Just know that whatever you've been through, you're still the Flem that we know and love.
It was so great to see you last night! I've missed spending time with you. We need to get together when we can catch up.
Laura G.
you guys rock
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