I think i finally hit the wall. Unfortunately it is the cancer wall and not the marathon wall. I am tired, my eyelashes are falling out, my nose wont stop bleeding, the Social Security office wont answer the phone, the steroids wont let me sleep and make me feel like i am starving to death, i am to tired to run, I hate complaining and i don't want to make my friends listen to me bitch, i am making my poor husband do everything and i am worried he is going to go off the deep end soon, i have no energy to play with my kids, my skin is freaking out, and i could go on forever, but does it really matter? I still have to deal with this crap, but life goes on. Right?
Sorry, not one of my usualy happy go lucky blogs. I am sure i will feel better tomorrow!
let it snow
Fall in Atlanta
Lake Tahoe
New Family Pictures
Race Night
Favorite Emory Nurse - Great night
DC Trip June
Santa Monica Pier
At the Zoo
Travis before St. Baldricks
Blizzard Atlanta Style
20 year class reunion
So heavy
Halloween
The Cousins
Carmel Beach
Hottie
Big G in Carmel
Big Cheese & Little Cheese
Me and the Fonze
BFF so precious
Ft. Myers
Sammy & all the boys in Ft. Myers
4th of July
Sammy boggie boarding
Sammy and Travis
Turks and Caicos
Riley
SEC Champs
Boys in SF
SF
My Redneck Family
Atlanta Motor Speedway (Nascar)
Let it Snow, let it snow, let it snow
2/28/08
Go Redsox
Happy Halloween
My Twin at 13 Months
10 Months
g$
All of us
Our Family
S&T
12 comments:
I love you...
Hey, that was pretty good... and, without even taking a breath!
Listen, you're handling this whole thing amazingly well. So, every now and then it's bound to seem like you have "hit the wall." Just run right on through it! It means you're about to get your second wind, or third, or fourth.
Damn Social Security, anyway! They've been a pain in everybody's butt forever.
As for your husband, he has pretty strong shoulders and he loves you very much.
I think you're able to have a few bitch blogs!!! What a wallop your body has just taken--I can't even believe you've found the energy to run/walk before this... You are amazing And beautiful --even eyelashless. Your blogs are so touching--you're really a great writer. You should save a print out of them and maybe publish it??? Or something like it.. anyone going through this would benefit from your humor and details. How about The Girlfriends Guide to the Big C???? Love to ya,
I love you too.
And as you can see, nobody minds that you are bitching. I think the amount of support and love shown on this blog should tell you that we are not going to run away from a little bitching. Nor do we expect to see only happy-go-lucky posts from you. If posting makes you feel better by getting it off your chest, then we are happy to listen and be here for you so you don't have to bother your overburdened husband. Hang in there, lowa.
Well it is about time we heard you bitch...it has probably taken you longer than the average person to get to this point. Losing a few eyelashes just completes your look and who needs them with your beautiful eyes. Oh, and now you can save on mascara along with the shampoo. If I lost my eyelashes not one would even notice! Who knows they might grow back even longer and more beautiful.
Travis go off the deep end--never! He loves you too much and we know he is superman.
Oh and maybe Gammy could help you out with the Social Security stuff!!
Just remember we love our Laura.
Auntie
Yeah...finally some bitching and moaning! I was beginning to think you were one of those super positive happy-go-lucky types making all of us frequent complainers look really bad!
Hang in there though...only 7 more treatments to go. It sounds like an eternity, but I know it will pass in the blink of an eyelashless eye!
We are hoping that ya'll will make it to Ft. Myers, we can't wait to see you! Don't worry, we'll be sure to slather up your pretty (but tiny) head with sunscreen so it doesn't get burned!
We love you very much and you are in our constant thoughts and prayers! You are a superwoman!
Hey Laura---
I have been trying to think of what to say besides the fact that I hate you have to go through this. Ususally I will try to say something funny but when I read your blog I thought you might need more encouragement than laughter right now.
So I remembered on one of your first blogs a lady wrote the most touching blog I think I have read throughout all these blog readings so I thought I would quote her:
"When you are alone you will sometimes be discouraged. That is normal, but it will disappear at the sight of Travis, Sam, Gavin, your mother or a sunny day. You will find that the smallest daily living experiences will give you pleasure and strength."
Signed Alice Studebaker, Breast Cancer Survivor
We are all here for you especially when you need to bitch. Nobody wants anything from you except for you to fight with all your might. And at the end of the day take Alice's words of experience and don't worry about being a burdon to your family just focus on felling better and soak in the sight of your family or a sunny day and hopefully that will give you more strength, will and peace and in the end help you to feel better.
You are such a beautiful person, an admiration to us all.....
I love you--HAM
Sunshine you are allowed to feel whatever it is you feel, even if it's not the bubbly positive person you normally are. You have been doing an AMAZING job through all of this...we were beginning to think you weren't human. I know any one of us would do whatever we could do to help alleviate and or make it all better. Love you and remember, you can say or do whatever you feel without judgment. Hugs & Kisses from Memphis - Trish
I gotta admit...I was also starting to wonder if you were the kind of woman who never slips and started imagining the Lifetime TV movie they might make out of your inspirational never ending optimistic cup is beyond half full self. It's actually refreshing to hear you express yourself in the middle of a yucky mood. I think it's healthy and I'm honored to be able to ride along with you here in cyber space during the good, the bad and the (never physically...you are still as gorgeous as ever!) ugly times. You amaze me - if it were me I'm afraid this whole blog would have been one big poor me whiney boo hoo downer and so I appreciate you teaching us how to handle a tough situation with grace and courage and I ADMIRE YOU!!! More than you will ever know. I hope better days are ahead...scale that wall Laura! Big hugs,
Temple
PS - If they do make a movie, I'll watch it...hey...remember that movie us girls all watched together that time at Becky's? Now there is something to make you giggle...
I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a rough time right now! You are truly an inspiration to me-- don't give up! I second and third what everyone else says about you being incredibly beautiful!! If there is ANYTHING I can do, I'd love to do it! I will gladly take the kids for a playdate anytime-- my kids would love it! Jen
Even without eyelashes you are amazing. Even with funky skin, you are amazing. Even if you feel like you are starving, you are amazing.
Remember what your doctor said, "You aren't sick. You just have cancer." If it's anything like pregnancy, it's only temporary. Keep up the fight. Lean on God.
susan peterson
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