Frustrated

Blood work looked good today so I got chemo, but my red blood cells are lower than ever before so they want to give me a blood transfusion. Not sure what to think about that.

Just over a year ago I was all set to run the Marine Corps Marathon. Instead, I get poison administered into mg body weekly, I get huge needles shoved in my arm to boost my immune system, I get shots in my ass and colonics to rid my system of toxins. I eat and drink expensive horrible tasting concoctions, I go in and out of menopause, lose my hair all over, vomit, shit so bad it throws my back into spasms, my nails fall off or grow weird, my extremities tingle, food tastes metallic, steroids make me fat, hungry, and mean. I can't work but still have student loan dept, life insurance won't cover me, Medicare is a joke can't wait until the government runs all health insurance...headaches, constipation, bills frustration...

And chemo only works for testicular, blood, and one other kind of cancer. It doesn't even work for mine. Each drug gives me 3-6 more months not years, months. The new trial adds 6 weeks if I'm lucky, wahoo.

I saw a guy younger than me who weighs close to nothing at Emory today who could not drink a glads of water his sister bright him. I told Travis I WILL NOT GO OUT THAT WAY.

I had the big pharma who are keeping me alive just long enough to administer their newest and greatest drug. Find out why were getting it instead of putting a bandaid after the fact.