Sammy

Tonight was the night...Sammy asked me if i was going to do kick boxing again when i am better and I had to tell her that i am not getting better, that this is as good as it gets. Of course the water works started for both of us and we talked about how it is now considered a "chronic disease" and although manageable, i will have cancer for the rest of my life. We discussed why they cant removed the cancer/tumor, how do i know if the meds are working, if i will every loose my hair again, etc. She then hesitated and asked me what happens when i die. We talked, hugged, cried some more, and hopefully got to a point that makes it not so scary. She is such a great kid and it was very hard to put this burden on her, but my prayer is that we can talk enough about it so when the time comes she will know what to expect and we can have the right people lined up for her to lean on.

On a better note, Dr. Citrin called and the path report that he performed at CTCA indicates that i am her2 + and er/pr +. This doesn't change anything as of yet, but may in the future. I guess i am relieved that they didn't treat me incorrectly at Emory, but am still interested in finding out what happened to my first path report.

I met with the counselor at the doctors office and she gave me several ideas on how to reinvent myself, exercise options since running seems to be very challenging at the moment, and some mind tricks when i cant sleep.

Please keep travis in your prayers, this economy is just one more stresser the poor guy doesn't need.

Love Laura