Pneumonia

Well, Wednesday might be one of the worst days i have had yet. I woke up from my nap and had a high temperature, was hallucinating, had sever back pains, dizzy and my body hurt. I would have thought i had the flu, but didn't know anyone that was sick although i was at the ER Sunday night. I had the sitter come watch the kids and my neighbor took me to the doctor. They ran every test know to man kind, but the only thing they could find was a gurgle in my chest so they did a chest x-ray, but found out yesterday that my lungs are clear. So unless the blood cultures come back today showing something, we haven't a clue as to why i am sick. It is so frustrating.

We are madly looking for a trial using all our resources and it is not moving as quickly as we would like. There is one trial here that i am eligible, but we find it highly unlikely that there is only one trial available for me in the entire US. So we are doing our homework to see what else is out there. I am in the process of contacting every cancer center I can find to see if they have trials i can be on. It is so crazy there isn't a better way.

As for the dog, i know everyone thinks we are crazy, but our family really needs a little joy in our lives. I am so tired of putting off life until i feel better. This may be as good as it gets for me and i need to be able to leave a little sunshine behind, just in case. So if you were in my shoes you might not think it was so crazy.

Forgot to mention, by MRI at CT scan need a few follow up visits, but nothing new yet.

Thanks for all your prayers
Love Laura

ER visit

I went to the ER last night, not so bad, they put me on antibiotics and Percocet. If i am not making sense...that is why. I am headed to the doctor tomorrow to see what this infection is and hopefully find out the results of my CT & MRI tests. Not sure i can take more bad news. The good news is Travis has agreed to get us a dog. Probably not the smartest thing to do, but i think we all need some joy in our lives. Sammy and i have been doing lots of research on training, electric fences,breeds, kid friendly, cost, etc. Gavin is just a crack up. He has such a personality know and has learned to say "I fustated mommy". He also loves his dump trucks. Put that in Gavin language and it comes out quite funny (drop the P and add an F). Sammy gets so embarrassed, but it totally cracks us up. Sammy and I also had a fun girls day Sunday and saw the Hannah Montana movie. I love spending time with her. Looking forward to Chicago on Thursday and we are getting our questions in order. Wow this post is so random. We had to get a new computer since ours died, we need our house painted desperately, and Sammy is an Indian women in her school opera that i am going to miss cause i will be in Chicago.

Wow my meds are really kicking in so i will post tomorrow with the results from the Doc.

Tired

All i wanted to do today is crawl under a blanket and sleep. I did sleep for 3 hours while Gavin napped, but since i cant sleep at night...Anyways, i am struggling today. I am tired of planning, organizing, calling doctors, answering questions, scheduling, rescheduling, phone calls, emails, bla bla bla. It makes Chicago look so inviting. I didn't have time to even talk with Travis tonight, but i am having abdominal pains (fullness) and it scares me. To this point i haven't felt sick, but i am loosing my appetite and feel like the cancer is taking over my body. I feel so out of control and telling people just makes it worse. Everyone wants me to do what they think is the best thing and it drives me crazy. Do they think I'm a dip shit??? It is so exhausting and i feel so lonely, like i am doing this on my own. Don't get me wrong Travis is amazing and he is just as scared as i am, but the more we look at trials the more real my mortality gets. I know modern medicine is just trial and error, but these trial use placebos. I cant risk that and nothing else seems to work. I am so anxious to get to Chicago and see what they say (we leave a week from today), but in the mean time i am freaking out. I am trying to hold it together for the kids, but Gavin isn't himself and Sammy tries so hard to keep up her "happy face." I feel so much guilt when it comes to my lack of motherly duties.

I just needed Travis to tell me everything will be okay, but he got home late and we never got a chance to talk. He mistakes my sadness for "bad moods" since i am not very good at expressing myself. If i could only buy a new body with all the money you have donated things would be so much easier.

I have a CT scan and MRI of the Brain in the morning to be sure it hasn't spread to new places, but wont hear for days. Lucky me, wait, wait, wait!

Laura

Wow, what a weekend

Let me start by thanking ALL the Crofts and Davis Family for hosting this AWESOME event. It was WAY better than Travis and i could have ever dreamed. We want to thank the 360 runners who came out and participated, the friends and family who were with us Saturday night and everyone else who couldn't make it for all their love, support, and kind words. We raised $7,000 at the race, $4,700 Saturday night, and the rest were from donations with a grand total of $40,000. Not to mention more keeps coming in. Can you even believe it? My husband doesn't show emotions that often, but I think this news brought the entire place to tears. I cant tell you how many people came up to us and said "you don't know me, but ..." I even had a woman who only heard about me thru the paper and wanted to offer her help with airline tickets to get us to Chicago. We are so blessed to have such incredible friends, loving families and a community who really cares. We have a thousand pictures that we will post on a website soon for all to see and there should be another article about Saturday in the Sandy Springs Reporter. I will post the website address when it comes out. Thank you all so so much and as Sammy said, "mommy i cant believe all these people are here for us, I feel like a princess"

One last thing, we got some bad news Friday that my meds are now not working. We are back for more tests (Brain scan, CT scan, ECO) and a trip to Chicago sooner than we had planned. My doctor here doesn't like what she is seeing because i am "blowing" thru all the meds to fast. They all seem to work in the beginning, but my cancer is out smarting the meds faster than she ever imagined. We saw another doctor this morning for a possible trial that might be a great fit for me. We will keep you all posted, if you could all just keep up the prayers.

Love you all,
Laura

No new news

Sorry i haven't posted in sometime, but nothing is new health wise. My toes are better but still ugly as hockey sticks, i am acclimating to my meds, still have good and bad days, get tired of taking 40 pills a day, my skin is still falling off my feet, my fingers still split, still get nauseous and cant sleep that well, have very little energy, my hemoglobin is low, getting fatter by the second, meds still making me crave sugar, face breaks out for no reason, my nose has weird crusties (same as i had with last meds), have wonderful friends, and amazing husband, and the cutest kids ever. So life isn't so bad.

My friends Laura and Gavin were in town this weekend so the two Gavin's, the two Laura's, and Travis and Sammy all had fun playing. We ate our way thru Atlanta since it didn't stop raining, but had so much fun. I even had a Margarita or two. It was the first drink since November since i am not suppose to tax my liver. Thanks for coming guys. Hope to see you in October.

We are off to the mountains this weekend for sum much need rest and time with "vacation Trav"

Will try to post more often, sorry

Amazing Friends

I just received this from one of my amazing friends and it brought tears to my eyes...

"thank you so much for your very
generous donation to the
Vickers family in honor of my mother
Margaret K. Hebert
1945-2009

Laura Vickers has been a friend for over 20 years.
We have shared many experience...
college, marriages, the birth of our children...
Laura is one of the most caring and most positive people i know,
which is why in February 2007, when she was diagnosed
with breast cancer, my heart broke for her,
and for her young family. In addition to the physical and
emotional drain of Laura's treatments,
it was a financially draining experience as well.
In November 2008, they discovered that her cancer had spread,
and that additional treatments would be necessary.

In October of last year, after fighting cancer for 6 years,
my mother's cancer had also spread. It had spread to
all her organs, and eventually her bones and her brain.
I was blessed to be able
to spend the final weeks with my mother, and as i watched
her grow sicker, the idea to honor my mother
through helping Laura took hold.

Through your kindness, i was able to send the Vickers $2400.
It is my prayer, that this money,
which will be put toward her treatments,
will enable Laura's daughter and son to be spared the
pain of losing a mother, while they are still young children.

Thank you and God bless.

Michele"

I just want to say thank you to Michele, her family, and everyone who contributed in her mothers honor. I am so blessed by you all and want to thank each one of you from the bottom of my heart.

I am on you tube

I have run with some of these people for over 10 years in various marathons and i am so touched that they did this for me. It makes the difficult days not so tough when i think about all the acts of kindness my friends have shown me. Thank you to everyone...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVkKiq8A8iA