Laura's Personal Marathon

Love and Support

2011-08-02T16:08:00.000-05:00

I am still overwhelmed by all the love and support that everyone has shown us, not just this week, but over the last 4 1/2 years. Thank you to everyone who came out yesterday to Laura's memorial service. It meant so much to me for all of you to share in our sorrow and remember the beautiful person that she was. Run in peace Laura!!

The location of the Celebration for Laura in California has been changed. It will now be held at:

Carmichael Community Clubhouse
5750 Grant Avenue
Carmichael, CA 95608

Saturday, August 13, from 4:30-7:30.

Celebration

2011-07-25T18:09:00.001-05:00

Thank you everyone for all your love and support the last couple days.

Services for Laura will be held Monday, August 1st at 1pm at Buckhead Church. For directions please go to www.buckheadchurch.org/directions

A Celebration of Laura will also be held Saturday, August 13 from 4-8 at the home of Pat Stillwell located at 7632 Woodland Lane, Fair Oaks, CA 95628

The finish line...

2011-07-23T23:31:00.000-05:00

Laura lived for 41 years and inspired us all with her courage, beauty and grace. She came in and went out on this beautiful day and was loved by all. She has loving arms around her now in heaven and we will see her again the way we remember her. Love always.

Barfy day

2011-07-16T17:37:00.000-05:00

Day started off nauseous. Then got a bright smile. Had to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends of all times. Got a great,Fabulous massage from someone who specializes in oncology. Had an enema and foot massage. Also a fun friend who made me laugh. She read a sweet letter from a neighbor the letter was wonderful and made us both cry. Continuing to violently barf through the day. But in between I have had lots of good laughs and smiles.

Our temple is our body

2011-07-13T03:04:00.000-05:00

The Body is a Temple

“It is not good to eat much honey, nor is it glory to search out one’s own glory.” Proverbs 25:27 - Proverbs 25:27

Christianity teaches that the body is the temple of God’s spirit and that we are to take care of our bodies. But gluttony and obesity in America are at epidemic levels, as are eating disorders.

The original intent of those who suffer from eating disorders, mainly teenage girls, is to take control of their bodies by eating less. But, over time, they can become obsessed by controlling their food intake in a way that is similar to gluttony, but with the opposite effect.

There are three main types of these eating disorders:

Anorexia—eating too little or being rigidly obsessed with avoiding perceived unhealthy foods.

Bulimia—binge eating and then throwing up or taking laxatives to avoid weight gain.

Exercise Bulimia—an obsession with exercise without enough caloric intake to replace the caloric output.

Each of these can bring great harm to the body. And like all addictions, whether food, booze, drugs, or sex, the addictions are substitutes for the place of God in the addicted person’s life.

If you suffer from an addiction that harms your body, seek God’s forgiveness and His help. Then, find others who can assist you in achieving victory over the unhealthy addiction.

I read all this and totally agree I just have to say withmy time benign limited all I can think about at this moment is a huge warm roll from a donut chain. I would be so sammy

Timing is everything....

2011-07-08T17:00:00.002-05:00

The Greatest Evidence of Life After Life

"Mary Magdalene came, announcing to the disciples, "I have seen the Lord..." - John 20:18

All through the ages, man has speculated about life after life. Dante's Divine Comedy seeks to describe it. Modern medical science has added to the speculation with its study of near-death experiences. Now all kinds of religions offer their theories.

But, the greatest evidence of life after life is in the historical evidence that Jesus rose from the dead. Christianity is the only faith founded by a man who died and came back to life. No other religion makes that claim.

Historical accounts of His appearances to His disciples, and over 500 people at one time, were written within twenty years of the event. His disciples faced martyrs' deaths for refusing to quit preaching of His death and resurrection.
People don't willingly die for something they know is a hoax.

The one thing that would have stopped Christianity in its tracks would have been for Rome or religious authorities to produce the dead body of Jesus. They never did. The best evidence of life after life is the historical evidence of Jesus' resurrection.

Huge News

2011-07-07T07:11:00.000-05:00

I weigh myself every single day. I have been loosing significant amounts every single day, and today no weight loss at all. Today we have a big reason to sing and dance like Footloose, Footlooses, kick of your Sunday shoe...

SO SO EXCITED

Decent day

2011-07-04T23:58:00.000-05:00

We made some big decisions today and I know they made me feel better and I think Travis too. I have actually had so much going through my head I can't sleep and for the most part DeLaura is not quite as influential. Had lots of visitor the last few days, that has been fun and exhausting. My mom got here Friday and leaves Friday and we are enjoying our time thus far. It is a ton of work for her not just taking care of me, dealing with my precious daddy at home, also.

Sammy is off at sleep-away camp and her parting words were, please don't die while I'm gone and she skipped out with her beautiful smile. After last Wednesday she had no idea how impactful those words were.

We are hopeful for a better week with a lot less drama. We are talking with a company tomorrow who offers more 24/7 medical care so I can skip the normal ER and mormal course of action. But can still keep my current nurses for some stuff but they carry the umbrellas behind me until I need them opened and then they do their stuff.

Anyways I'm going to slumber, have a great Tuesday

Happy 4th of July

2011-07-03T07:35:00.000-05:00

What Nathan Hale Did For America

“It was for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” - Galatians 5:1

In 1776, George Washington gathered his troops together and told them he needed someone for a highly secret mission behind enemy lines. A young twenty-one year old soldier from Yale volunteered for the mission. It seemed he was going to be successful, but as he returned with the battle plans of the British, they were tipped off and he was arrested and sentenced to be hanged. The next morning, as he was facing execution, he uttered these poignant words: “My only regret is that I have but one life to lose for my country.”

Gives me amazing new hope

2011-07-02T23:22:00.000-05:00

"I wanted to let you know I am praying for you and your family. My dear friend lost her husband to cancer after a 9 year fight...they have 3 kids. 2 years after her husband lost his fight, her daughter was diagnosed and she lost hers too. She is an amazing woman, by God's grace and so were her husband and daughter. You have an amazing spirit too! Look her up on the CaringBridge website under Hope Herman if you want. Amazing family, as I see yours is too. Knowing her and reading your story has given me perspective and encouragement that I'm so thankful for.
:)"

Just when I have a day that makes me think life is to hard, I read about something like this. This women reminded me I can stil fight and nothing is to hard.I welcome tomorrow.

The latest and not so greatest...

2011-06-29T17:35:00.000-05:00

It has been a rollercoaster as usual in the Vickers household lately. In the last two weeks we have had to drain Laura's stomach 4 times due to fluid accumulation. Last Tuesday it got so bad we took an ambulance to the ER and stayed up all night until her appt the next day. Last Friday she got a Pleurx Catheter installed in her abdomen. We now drain fluid at home every couple of days. Laura continues to lose weight and is having trouble eating. We are trying to "fatten her up" before next Wednesday so she can hopefully get on some chemo, which will reduce some of the inflammation, which will let her reduce the amount of delaudid she is taking every day. The delaudid has created a new version of Laura consisting of "sleepy talk" and murmuring which I have deemed DeLaura. She is having some fun in her parallel universe meeting Danny Bonaduce, floating on a raft at her high school reunion, and watching a band, whose members were all herself, sing. We are still ever hopeful and feel the chemo right now is the best bet for her to start getting back to being herself.

Thanks to all our wonderful friends for banding together and helping out throughout each day. We couldnt do it without you! Keep the prayers coming!!!

This goes out to everyone

2011-06-28T05:08:00.002-05:00

Going the Extra Mile

"Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two." - Matthew 5:41

There's a new popular show on television called, Undercover Boss." The premise is the head of a corporation goes undercover and works in the different areas of their company to see what's really going on - how they treat the customers, utilized their skills, work ethics, etc. My wife and I were staying in a nice hotel for a special occasion. One day we went to the pool, and before we could get seated, attendants brought us towels and ice water. When I went jogging, as I came back into the lobby, a bellman gave me a bottle of water. They kept surprising us with unexpected extra mile service for our entire stay. I think an undercover boss would have been proud of his employees!

I really believe that any corporation, organization, or ministry, where extra mile service is a part of the culture, will have a greater impact for good. Extra mile service goes beyond what is expected.

Do you know who originated the idea? Jesus Christ. He said, "Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two." Rome ruled their culture, and it was legal for any Roman soldier to ask a civilian to help them carry their armor for one mile at any time. The people greatly resented it. So what Jesus taught, shocked them. But following Jesus calls for extra mile service. Even if you don't follow Him, that service is always appreciated.

The Devil Made Me Do It

2011-06-27T03:47:00.000-05:00

Monday, Jun. 27, 2011
The Devil Made Me Do It!

"Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD' - and you forgave the guilt of my sin." - King David from Psalm 32:5

Notice Adam's response when asked about his actions: "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate." So, the man blames the woman, and he also blames God - after all, He was the one who brought Eve into his life! Eve's defense? "The serpent deceived me, and I ate." (Here we have the first example of "The-Devil-Made-Me-Do-It" excuse.)

Well, the excuse is just as rampant in today's culture. We see feminists who blame men for trouble and men who blame all their problems on women. We see blacks who blame whites for the trouble in their life, and whites who blame blacks for trouble they're dealing with. Republicans blame Democrats, and Democrats blame Republicans. We have an entire industry, the media, where success seems to be measured by how many people they have adequately blamed. And so many criminals actually defend their actions by blaming the victim for the crime: "She wouldn't give up her purse, so I had to stab her." Or "She was asking for it by the way she was dressed." Our culture features this out-of-control blame game mindset. "It's not my fault! It's her fault! It's his fault! It wouldn't have happened without her; without him; without the snake!" Since the dawn of mankind, that is a classic unrepentant mindset of man when it comes to our sin.

Do you blame others for your mistakes and sins or do you confess your actions? The first step to forgiveness from God is acknowledgement of responsibility. Can you take that first step in acknowledging your own sinful deeds to the One who offers unlimited forgiveness? It will help you move away from the blame game to a life of maturity.

Another crazy week.

2011-06-23T08:13:00.001-05:00

We had plans to go the beach this week with our friends. As the week progressed, fluid and air were in a race to see who could fill up my belly the fastest. That was fun in the morning to see them compete over space in my abdomen. By Wednesday we knew we had to drain the fluid and got it scheduled first thing Thursday. We decided we couldn't wait until 9 AM and took an ambulance around 1:30 AM instead. After an xray, ct scan and bloodwork, they drained 3 liters and I felt a littel better. It worked out well since I also ended up getting everything in order for the drainage thing I'm having put in tomorrow. Dr Bowen in my new best friend at Emory and is willing to come hold my hand during during my sedated procedure. They will permanently put a drainage system in my abdomen so I don't have to keep having drainage drained.

Next week we are piecemeal-ing the support. So if you are interested check out my blog

If you would like to help...

2011-06-20T06:11:00.000-05:00

===================================
HELPER LOGON
===================================
The HELPER logon is used by family and friends
that would like to sign-up to help a loved one.

To access Laura Vickers's personal CareCalendar site,
visit http://carecalendar.org/logon/78710 and enter
the following information in the appropriate spaces:

CALENDAR ID : 78710
SECURITY CODE : 5286

This weekend

2011-06-20T05:57:00.000-05:00

This weekend had it's ups & downs. Laura Stilwell came on Thursday and went home yesterday evening in tears because we were not sure what was wrong with me. Since Friday evening I have been having severe abdominal pain. My abdomin is so hard we thought I was going to need it drained agin. All I new is that I did not want to go back to the hospital even at times I thought we would have to call an ambulance. After brain storming with several of my care providers we elimated the horrible and worked our way down the list. After about 2 hours we concluded that we are dealing with gas pains. I have never dealt with pains like this and it definitely helped deal with the pain better since I new where it was coming from. Not sure how to get ride of it and I am very immobile since it is excruciating to get up, I limit my trips but I actually feel better walking around. The bad part about that is I get dizzy, tired and nauseous when I do this. Hopefully we can turn down the drug. My goal is to get off the drugs so I can get ride of the terrible side effects.

So say a little prayer that we can get all this worked out. Thanks Aunt Jo for coming and taking care of me this week.

Dr. Liu

2011-06-18T14:33:00.000-05:00

Stilwell and I went to see a Chinese medicine doctor. He is a licensed MD in china but not here. At this rate I'm willing to try anything. It was just like you see in the movies. We went into the back door and there were mushrooms in jars everywhere. He looked at my hands and before I could tell him anything he said my liver has "many, many problems"

Then we went from there. I got anchient mushrooms from China that I make tea with and 3 other things that strengthen my liver and get the fluid working correctly. I can already tell a difference so I'm very encouraged.

Not to mention the guy who sent me there was dying from liver cancer and after 2 years is 95 percent better. Were going to do this for a month and then regroup.

Follow by email

2011-06-15T21:49:00.000-05:00

Look at the top write and I think if you plug in your email address it will notify you when I post something new. Hope this works!

Good Day

2011-06-15T14:39:00.000-05:00

After yesterday I am so grateful to God that I am having a good day. Woke up with usual nausea and pain but Trav got my meds early so by the time I had to get up I could do it with few issues going on. My sister-in-law was our driver for the day and Sammy and I got to get some fun in with her too. Thank you K. I have a friend bringing me some love this afternoon, church friends bringing us dinner and Sammy gets a Beta fish and G gets Starwars undies. So good day All around at the Vickers house.

Emory...what a day

2011-06-14T14:19:00.000-05:00

Went in for my 2nd Paracentesis and wow what a different experience. I should really listen to my instincts. First the nurse stuck me where I told her not to so I have 3 sticks and one infiltrated. Then the OR nurses seemed like they just graduated from kindergarden and I had to pull my own IV out. All three people were trying to do something on me at the same time and I had to raise my voice to get anyone to listen. They could not find a large pocket of fluid but we all agreed that getting out even a litter would give me that much more relief. So they stick the lidocaine in and I should have known there was a problem cause I didn't hurt like before. He starts the proceedure and I was yelling it hurt so bad and had my knees up to my chest. I kept asking why it hurts so much more than last time. After three tries he said when their is not a lot of fluid it hurts more. I felt like I was having lipo or an abortion done. Not that i have had eother, but the cramping was unbelievable. I finally just screamed at the doctor that this is not life threatening and i need him to stop now. He thought I was crazy. Then I asked if they got any fluid and the nurse told me not to worry my pretty little head about how much. On my way home to rest and praying this cramping will go away sooner rather than later so I can make it to Sammys last swim meet. On to a better day tomorrow.

Help at home, Tuesday, Fathers Day

2011-06-13T20:52:00.000-05:00

I was wondering if I could get some volunteers once a week to help do things, clean, do laundry, wash the dog, etc. Our cleaners come every other week but they clean dirt not clutter or put clothes away or any of those odds and ends I used to do. If one person could volunteer for a few hours on Friday mornings, you can even come and go if waiting for laundry etc. I will most likely be here so we can visit, just depends on the day. I have some one who offered already for this Friday so next Friday would be the first date in need.

Tomorrow I go in to have more fluid drained and the tap put in. My nurse is taking me so she can teach me how and be another set of ears. I can't afford to loose anymore weight but it is so hard to eat a lot of food. This drain will relieve even more pressure so hopefully I can come off the med pump

Any hoo so excited for my friend to visit this weekend, yeah.

Happy Fathers Day to all the wonderful dads out there. Any dads interested in playing golf with Travis on Sunday? He so deserves it. Otherwise he will be hosting his own fathers day event.

Need help wednesday

2011-06-12T21:57:00.000-05:00

We need some help on wednesday getting Sammy to and from swim practice. I need help getting to progressive 10 to 1. If anyone can help we would be so appreciative. Please call me or my friend Vanessa whose number is listed.

Tuesday Lisa is taking me to Emory to drain more fluid, get the drainage port put in and see the doctor. Then my home health will have me the rest of the day to take care of me. Love all the help.

Thanks to everyone for all your help and continued prayers

Wedding planning

2011-06-12T10:11:00.001-05:00

Sammy had a sleep over on Friday when I came home, so statutday Sammy, Rebeka (my Emory nurse)and I got out all the wedding magazines and talked and planed and discussed and really got Sammy talking. We causualy slipped death conversations and they went so much better than just talking with Sammy about death. The other night we broached the subject and she told me twice adamantly that I was not going to die. I had to take her sweet face in my hands and say you could wake up to morrow and I'll be gone. She cried but understands this is serious. Not sure if I mentioned my amazing friend Lori but she lost a little girl who was one of Sammy's friends when they were in pre-school. Antonia died in December just after her 5th birthday. So when I was going thru my list of all the people I get to see again in heaven Antonia of course was on my list. Her mom and I after some really heavy/amazing discussions decided that I will wrap my arms around her precious angel and she will run as fast as she can and put her arms around Sammy and not let go until Sammy says so. I know I'm not dying but it feels so much better that if something does Happen every one is going to be okay. I went to the pool for the first time this summer and got to see the kids swim. G was jumping off the board and Sammy and trav were racing. Man that kid is fast. So happy to be out of the hospital but miss having one of the Vickers here. That was AWESOME as G would say.

Out of the hospital again

2011-06-10T21:24:00.000-05:00

I had 1.5 liters of fluid drained yesterday = 4 pds. Of body weight. They anticipated several more but they had to stop the procedure because my intestines got in the way. They could tell by the color that the fluid was coming from the lymph system. They seemed relieved that it was not cancer. I still look 4-5 months pregnant, but I feel so much better. They will more than likely have to repeat this week and "tap" me. I feel like a keg but it was nice to be able to breath. I felt so great last night. They discharged me around 10 but officially we left at 2. Having fun with G and getting lots of lip action.

Hospital visit #3

2011-06-09T06:01:00.001-05:00

Last night at the clinic I was feeling great, was ready to eat lunch, but when I went to sit up, all the fluid from my belly took up so much abdominal space I couldnt breath. We were on our way back to the ER but I could not go that far with out oxygen. I don't panic but I was a little nervous to be without oxygen for a 40 min drive during rush hour. We thought of ambulance, oxygen cartridge, etc. Our AWESOME home health nurse ordered the cartridges but the rush time was 4 hours. We finally figured it out, got to the ER, got expedited to our old room, our old nurse but got an awesome new doc who is 8 months pregnant so she totally sympathized with my lack of abdominal space, So I had a CT and x-ray and this morning I am having an ultra sound. They think I have so much fluid around my belly that it is pushing on my lungs and that is why I can't breath. I literally looked at the doc with my belly bulging from my shirt and said "ya think" that is when we started comparing bellys. Any who I'm hoping we get the abdomen drained early this morning and go home. I miss my kiddos and Sammy and I have a wedding to plan. Latter gators

La La Land

2011-06-06T22:00:00.000-05:00

This is Travis. Just thought I would update everyone on the latest with Laura. So the last two weeks have been interesting. We spent most of the last couple weeks in the hospital at Emory. I dont recommend it for Memorial Day weekend activities. Her back has been the main source of concern as the pain has been too much for her to bear most of the time. She is now on a portable delaudid pump to administer LOTS of drugs consistently throughout the day. I joke that she is bringing the fanny pack back. That being said, we are still trying to get to the source of the problem which is the cancer. We are using a two pronged approach. She has been on Salicinium for the last 2 months and this reaction is supposed to be somewhat expected as it starts to do its thing, but the pain was not expected to be this bad. We are also looking at doing some chemo to bring down some of the inflammation. Today she went in to Emory to get the chemo and didnt feel up to it. So we will try again Wednesday. She ended up getting herceptin and fluids to help her out. She has two awesome nurses in Rebekah and Noah that are looking out for her and they rock! Thanks to you both!!! Tonight she is so drugged up that she was talking jibberish one minute then totally coherent the next. We could only laugh!

Sadly, we also found out today that one of the guys that we used to see regularly in the trial chemo bay passed away a month ago. His name was Bud and he would bring in the largest potatoes known to man from his farm. He was also well known for his Bud-isms. Truly one of a kind!!! We miss you Bud!

Victorious

2011-05-31T09:05:00.002-05:00

Overwhelming Victory

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?" - Romans 8:31

I have always been inspired by people who faced great challenges and setbacks in their lives, who fought hard and achieved amazing comebacks. There is along list of people who have done this, both real and fiction, secular, as well as biblical, and from centuries in the past, as well as recent heroes.

I have tremendous news for you. These comebacks are not just for people you read about in the history books or the latest edition of Newsweek. This very day, God is in the business of turning your setbacks into comebacks! Note what Paul wrote to the Christians being persecuted: "… we are being put to death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered. But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us." Realize that God doesn’t say, "Well, I’ll arrange it where you can just squeak by!" Neither does He say, "I’ll arrange it where you can just barely endure."

No! He doesn't say any of that! But what He does say is: “In ALL these things, we overwhelmingly conquer!” We don’t just conquer, we overwhelmingly conquer, through the power of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And it is this amazing power – the power of the Creator of the universe – that will help you pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and turn your setback into an overwhelming victory. May that victory be triumphed for the glory of God!

Waiting

2011-05-26T11:02:00.000-05:00

Got up, showered and found out they are going to do a CT per the nurse. Haven't even seen a doctor in 20 hours. I'm scheduled for a CT but no one can give me a time and I can't eat before. Not to mention I have to wait for a specialist to stick me since they took out the old needle and beat up my arm. Hunger, tired and annoyed.

Travis is being such a trooper. We are stuck in this room waiting to see a doctor so he hasn't Eatten or left our room either. I get to sleep, but he is going stir crazy. Not to mention 2 nights on a fold out chair are not what he calls comfortable. He did leave last night to check on the kids, shower and eat real food but he was back after a few to be with me. what a good husband.

We will keep you posted if we ever hear any news!!!

Day 3 most likely in my future

2011-05-25T17:31:00.000-05:00

This is my 4th attempt...I was admitted to the hospital last night cause I felt like CRAP. I thought I needed a transfusion and have been questioning pneumonia for a few weeks. After a CT, X-ray, a ton of blood work and 18 hours the are giving me blood and antibiotics. Shocking!!! Then the doctor came in after my first bag of antibiotics and doesn't think the spots in my lungs are pneumonia or cancer. So I immediately turned off the pump giving me the Leviquin and was pissed. I specifically questioned the PA about the pneumonia and wanted a culture done first but she was adamant that I start the antibiotics. I new I should have held my ground. Now I have to repair my already compromised immune system. They are keeping me another night or two to see if they can...I'm not sure.

Transfusion

2011-05-25T16:17:00.001-05:00

It is 5 PM the next day and I'm only on my first bag of blood. Each one taking 2.5 hours. I'm so tired from all the drugs. They thought I had pneumonia put he on Levaquin then decided it was cancer and took me off the anti biotic and now they just don't know what it is. Not sure if were leaving tonight or not. More to come

Admitted

2011-05-25T07:27:00.001-05:00

I went to Cali this weekend to see my parents and attend the fundraiser my friends were putting on for me (really fun BTW). It took a lot out of me. Went to progressive and had a difficult time getting home. Thought I would be okay if I just slept. I was wrong. I just kept getting worse. It was the same feeling I had when I got transfusions last summer. Not something you want to have done due to all the possible complications/side effects but I was getting desperate. I got everything worked out with Gavin, oncologist, ER, Travis and a ride. I had some breathing issues so they fast tracked me and I got in a room really quickly. They started giving me Delotid. 1 dose did nothing so that was scary. I have been on 2 doses every 2 hours and now I feel hungover. Need to ween myself but got a break from the other pain mess Ive been on for months. I had an X-ray, CT, EEG, lots of blood work and great nurses. It was so nice having Travis here to navigate for me. Love you Sparky. Waiting to rule out pneumonia, blood clot and a few other things, but the cancer in my lungs is not looking good. Will keep you posted.

Race 2011

2011-05-09T20:52:00.000-05:00

The Ray of Life Race was amazing this year and the weather was spectacular. What I wanted to say at the race but couldn't was that I have been fighting this for 4 years. At the time of my first diagnosis they said there was a 100% chance that I would die. My doc told me to prepare to die so that I could live. He had faith in me, God and his abilities so I had no doubt I would live. I did everything he told me to do and it came back with a vengeance. He wished me luck and passed me on to the next doc who has put me thru chemo after chemo to see what will keep me alive for 6 more month max without killing me first from the treatment. I have been told many times that I should me dead from all the chemotherapy I have taken and they can't believe how great I look. That in where all of you come in. Chemo may keep me alive but your donations that allow me to do all the alternatives give me the ability to live and I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my toxic filled heart. I have put my life in your hands three years in a row and you have exceeded my expectations every single year. Through tears of joy, my life belongs to you. Can't wait To see you all next year.

New treatment

2011-04-18T06:42:00.000-05:00

So I started the sallisinium last Monday and so far so good. There are a few things thar are a challenge like remembering to take the 2 pills 3G per day but only on the weekends where I get IV's all week. I get a lot more constipated and more pain but the pain is good it means the the Lymphs are selling and the homeopathic is working. It's hard to find things to eat since my diet is even more restrictive and I'm starving all the time. Good thing a chef is cooking for me. She has made some amazing stuff for the entire family. The weather has been incredible here so we have been outside a lot. That is always good medicine for me.

I have really emotional this past two weeks so a wake up with puffy eyes quite often so that's attractive, but I have also been able to pay it forward many times recently. It is amazing no matter how much pain I'm in, I always feel so much better when I can help someone else.

My sweet husband has been extra sweet this week and I have been eating it up.

Gavin told me last night that he loves me so much that he wants to cry. Love that kid

How much is a life worth

2011-04-11T10:24:00.000-05:00

How much should you spend to save a life? How indebt should you go? Should you sell your house, cash out the kids college funds/savings, empty out the 401k??? How do you know when enough is enough? You can only beg your friends for so long. Life is hard and I'm willing to fight but at what cost and is there a correct answer?

Only God knows

2011-04-05T15:44:00.000-05:00

So I decided it was time to really explain what is going on especially with Sammy. It was tuff especially when we talked about the stuff I might miss. Gavin started talking about Yoda dying, but gave me a huge hug and told me he hopes I don't die before we go to Hawaii. Got to love how kids think.

Saw the oncologist today and she doesnt seem as concerned as the trial oncologist but she is quite the optimist, so that gave me hope. She was willing to let me try some experimental treatments and then start chemo again if they dont work. She didn't mind the cancer being everywhere but doesnt like that I'm symtomatic. Meaning I have abdominal and back pain.

Preparing for the worst, hoping for the best and fighting like hell

Not what we were expecting at all.

2011-04-01T22:24:00.000-05:00

Spoke with the trial oncologist tonight and she doesn't want me to do the bronchoscope because there are 2 spots in abdominal area, a new tumor in the liver, one in the pancreas, and 11 nodes in the lungs. She said the radiologist feels they are all metastases and even if the lungs are not she doesn't want to put me thru the test if were going to proceed the same way. The good news is oh wait there is none this time. But I'm feeling great despite what the PET shows. We see the local oncologist this week and will find out more. There are a few alternative treatments were investigating that sound very promising. Were praying hard here, thanks for all of yours.

OMG

2011-03-22T17:48:00.001-05:00

So my liver looks great, one lymph still showing traces, but now a new thing in my lungs. I see a pulmonologist (sp?) soon to decide if it is an infection (I'm not sick) or cancer or something totally different. Not what I was expecting...our trip to Maui is official. 16 hours to get there but so excited we get to live in pure luxury for a few days. The kids are so excited.

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Results

2011-03-17T11:16:00.000-05:00

The clinic tested every function in my body 1.5 years ago and everything was way out of norm. I was tested again last month and everything looked so good that the Dr. was elated with how great everything looked. I have a CT on Friday and were taking bets on how small my tumor is!!! Trav says 2.7, I think 1.7. Can't wait to find out. Just need to get this back thing under control.

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Ray-of-Life-Race.html?soid=1104693177977&aid=ObsCGYNYjEM

2011-03-04T10:19:00.001-05:00

It is that time of year again. This time we are not only asking you support Laura, but help us start a foundation that will allow us to pass along all the knowledge we have gained throughout our journey.

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Ray-of-Life-Race.html?soid=1104693177977&aid=ObsCGYNYjEM

Ray of Life Race

2011-02-07T18:10:00.001-05:00

It is that exciting time again. The big day is set for May 7. More details to follow. Can't wait to see you all there.

Chemo sensitivity testing

2011-01-18T10:29:00.000-05:00

If you know someone with cancer please give them this info. They are saving lives even stage for are still alive after 7 years. These people work with your oncologist to test what chemos work best for the patient not the general population, you. That is huge considering chemo only works 23% of the time and with all the money we have raised cancer patiences are only 5% better off than 60 years ago...please look into this. Travis and I spoke to Gary the CEO and he is willing to answer any questions you may have. His contact info below.

R. Garry Latimer
CEO
DiaTech Oncology www.diatech-oncology.com
College of American Pathologists #7186701
CLIA #99D1030993
9208 Heritage Dr.
Brentwood, Tennessee 37027
615 377 9668 Voice
615 969 5520 Mobile
877-434-2832 Toll Free
615 221 4387 Fax

Cyst

2011-01-05T23:29:00.001-05:00

The cyst is apparently on my left side even though all the pain is on my right. Everyone is 82% sure it is not due to cancer but "age" so I'm scheduling a ultrasound with my OB. I think the weird part is I haven't been able to eat very much since everything makes me sick and haven't dropped a pound. Really?

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Check this out

2011-01-05T19:05:00.001-05:00

Now I can enter once, publish twice, and have my website... Thanks Travis. Will post a lot more now, yeah

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Test

2011-01-05T18:57:00.001-05:00

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CT RESULTS

2011-01-04T07:45:00.001-05:00

Got my CT results back and my tumor is stable. Not sure what to think about this; was it better and now getting worse, has it just slowed down its shrinkage, was it just a cold day, who knows. Anyways it is what it is so we will take it.

My back after 4 weeks of agony stopped hurting. I decided that 4 weeks of babying it wasn't working so i might as well do something. I cleaned out my closet and my back feels like new. Go figure.

Happy 2011. This year is going to be great, i just know it.

BTW Travis just told me if i post to my blog, it will post to FB so sorry for the double entry but i did it backwards today. Slowly, very slowly but surely I'm learning.........

Good news

2010-12-07T01:02:00.003-05:00

My tumor is 60 percent smaller and no new findings. We are really happy about the results for the first time in 4 years. Yeah

Nashville again

2010-12-07T01:02:00.001-05:00

Travis and I are on our way to Nashville again and so far the trial is going great. My liver functions are looking great and I can tell my tumor has decreased in size. I have a scan on the 15. I already know what the results will be, it is the scan three months from there that will be the real truth. Trav and I just added up that I'm on my 7th regiment and 13th chemo. Hopefully I won't run out of options...

I went to a new natural path and love him. I'm feeling even better than before. He has tweaked my supplements just enough to give me back my edge. Still working on the joint pain and decrease in lung capacity so I can run again. I would so love that.

Had an awesome cancer retreat this weekend. Learned a lot about myself and how to just be. It was great to be around people with the same feelings and issues.

Please keep praying for my friends Shonn (stable), brennon (doing better), Michelle (very weak), and Jack (just had a liver transplant).

Good news

2010-11-16T23:33:00.000-05:00

My tumor is 60 percent smaller and no new findings. We are really happy about the results for the first time in 4 years. Yeah

My mom, the kids and I just spent a week at the beach. Had such a great, relaxing time.

I also went to Cali for a long weekend to see my dad and a few friends. It is so nice to have me time once in a while.

All is good here.

Turks and Caicos and new trial

2010-09-16T22:10:00.001-05:00

Just spent a week with the kids at the beach and had such a great time. Were so thankful for friends who sent us on another amazing vaca. From frequent flogger miles, spending $, and hotel we didn't have to spend a thing. Thanks to all.

My new trial started on Tuesday and it went great until we had to get in the car to drive home. My fever shot up to 103 and I thought I was going to barf the entire way. Poor trav had me yelling from the back seat, "more air, now more heat the entire time. Got to love that guy.

Broke my fever that night but by morning I felt like I had the flu, fever, muscle aches, felt sick, etc. And that continued all day. Woke up this morning and felt better but still not great. Then felt decent most the day and then this night it shot back up to 103 then I was freezing so I got in a hot bath (bad idea) and my fever shot up to 104. Whoops, but I'm feeling much better after I put a cold wash cloth on my head. So hoping for the best tomorrow!!!

Nashville

2010-08-31T09:48:00.000-05:00

Trav and I are on our way to Nashville to see a doctor about the T-DM1 trial. We have to drive 9 hours for a one hour meeting. Travis was not happy. Since we had hours of time to kill I decided to converse with my husband. Not something we do very often. In the last 4 months our relationship has been even more strained with every bad report we get. The worse the news the more stressed, unsure and withdrawn Travis gets. It's been hard to figure all this out but thinking my wife is going to dye, our savings is gone, the less money i make the closer to death she is, I have two kids I am responsible for, and i will be alone must all be terrifying. I can't even comprehend what goes thru his head on a good day much less that live revolves around me. He can ask any thing of me, I'm tired, I'm not the same person he married and there isn't anything except time that will come out of this. The sad part for me is it is difficult for him to enjoy the now since he is so concerned about the future. I pray everyday God will give him the grace he has given me to deal with all this. What good is time if I don't have him emotionally. That is what I need prayers for. With him I can do anything.

Will post tomorrow what Dr. Yardley has to say.

BTW we had a chance to have a free trip from the Jack and Jill foundation to Hawaii but can't go. So sad

Results

2010-08-24T20:29:00.001-05:00

We'll not what we had hoped. Chemo has once again failed me at the 6 month scan. I see the doc on Thursday to find out what chemo is left. Hopefully the side effects will be manageable.

Awesome Vaca

2010-08-22T22:31:00.000-05:00

We just spent a week in Lake Tahoe, my niece turned 21, and my friends thru me a surprise birthday party in Sacto. It was very hard to come back to reality. I have chemo tomorrow and a PET scan so we shall see if this chemo will hold. I tolerate it fairly well so i would love to get good results. Not to mention i have never had a chemo last more than 3 months. Will post when i get results back.

Day after chemo

2010-07-27T22:08:00.001-05:00

I forgot how crappy I feel the next day. I promised Travis I would help clean the basement and besides my head pounding every joint/muscle in my body hurts. I don't have any wheatgrass so that may be my main problem. I get some thursday but I should feel better by then anyways. Cheers

Beach, Birthday, Reunion...

2010-07-27T08:56:00.000-05:00

We had such a great week. It was relaxing, fun, and I ran every morning on the beach. It was by far the best weather we have ever had down there and we had such a good time. Grandma Babs and Grandpa George came over for two nights, Ya Ya (nanny) was a huge help, and our friends came two nights. We had a great time with all our friends that come every year and of course my birthday was the best ever. It was the first time in a year that I drank and I made up for lost time. I thought I would be in the bathroom by 9 PM not feeling my best but I hung until 4 AM. Yeah for me! So many people wished me well, gave me cards, cool gifts, and Travis gave me the camera I have been wanting forever. It was fun meeting all of Travis' classmates (20 year reunion) and seeing old friends.

Overall our vacation was fabulous, turning 40 was awesome, and the reunion was a big success. Cant wait for the next 40 years.

So excited

2010-07-13T22:59:00.001-05:00

This weekend channel 2 interviewed me for the news and since then I have had so many people ask for help. I am so excited that I get to help others because you are all helping me. I love this "pay it forward stuff"
Yeah

Come join us for Pizza on July 10th. Can't wait

2010-07-01T20:00:00.001-05:00

Since the race...

2010-06-29T04:34:00.001-05:00

Since the race Sammy and I went to DC with friends and had an incredible time. The weather was perfect and I was able to keep up with the girls.

I got home Saturday evening and flew to NY Sunday morning to see a Dr. who deals in all kinds of medicines. He has been known to really help people with stage 4 cancer. I am sifting thru the info as we speak.

Went to our friends cabin in the mountains this past weekend. Had a blast and Gavin was a riot. Did sleep much but making up for lost time.

Monday I was able to get chemo and the Benedril knocked me off my feet. I slept the entire 8 hours we were at Emory, then napped from 5-8, then went to sleep at 9. It is 5:30 and I am wide awake...wonder why.

Well that is it for now. Happy 4th of July

What a day

2010-06-14T13:21:00.001-05:00

Okay, first the race was amazing, hot but amazing. About 250 ran and I cheered them all on. It was tiring but so fun.

That eveving we had my mom and travis' mom check everyone in and had amazing auction Items and a great raffle. The drinks were flowing and people from all aspects of our lives were there. It was like a wedding/reunion.

The next day everyone including Gavin slept in until 9:00.

We would like to thank everyone who volunteered, donated items, time, money and those who showed up. We felt so much love and raised $38,000 and counting. Were already getting excited about next year and how we can make it better. If you have any suggestions or want to donate or volunteer just shoot us an email.

Funny story...Malcolm (volunteer) asked if I saw the pregnant girl who was smoking...my mouth dropped opened and I was shocked. What he meant was pregnant and running really fast. Not smoking tabacco.

Two more days

2010-06-10T07:12:00.001-05:00

Last years race had 80 people sign up and 350 ran the race. As of last night 200 have signed up...this maybe an incredible turn out. I'm so excited to see you all and we have had even more action items come in that are incredible. I'm sorry to announce that we only have 15 shirts left, but if your still interested go to www.rayofliferace.com and sign up to run/walk/crawl whatever and don't forget about the evening festivities at cocktail cove on Roswell from 5-9. Kids are welcome.

BTW since I started doing wheatgrass shots I have had very little sideeffects and have been fealing great. I started exercising even.

Hope to see everyone this weekend.

Sitting at Emory

2010-06-01T09:39:00.001-05:00

I am trying to get this 14 year old boy to play with me. We have been here for 2 hours already. I forgot my book, Travis is working and my phone only gets reception part of the time so I'm trying to get this little boy to entertain me, but he is shy. I did have an 80 year old man earlier but he was done way before me. I have mixed feelings...if I don't get chemo than I get another blood transfussion. If my blood is healthy than I get chemo. Either win win or lose lose not sure how to look at it. Funny that my doctor isn't running behind but we have been sitting here forever... Will let you know the out come

Giving blood

2010-05-30T21:21:00.001-05:00

If you would like to donate blood for me you can go the Emory Blood Bank and request the blood be used for me. You can only give every 90 days and your blood is only good for 1 month. So if you give blood reply to this post the day you gave it. It would be awesome if I could get blood donated every week so I always have a stash.

I am A possitive.

Thank you

I need your help

2010-05-27T12:07:00.001-05:00

We need gift cards for restaurants, toy stores, salons, spas, groceries, retail, gift baskets, etc. for the auction.

We need water, sports drinks, soda, bananas, etc. For the race.

If you can donate or get the establishment to donate any of the above please contact Travis at tvgators1@comcast.net and he can send you a letter to give to the establishment.

Also my 3 month scan came back with possitive results that we expected. It is the 6 month that tells the real truth. I did have a blood transfussion because my blood counts were so bad. I prayed the entire time it went in. That's all I need is something else.

I was on the Bert show last Thursday talking about cancer. That was fun.

Two more weeks...looking forward to the race.

What a day

2010-05-24T18:15:00.001-05:00

Dropped the kids at school, got to Emory at 9, saw my favorite patient, waited forever, got my benedrill, had a PET scan then my lab work was so bad they couldn't give me chemo. Instead I had to get a blood transfussion. Pray that I don't get anything. That's all I need. Still really tired and the barrium gives me the stinkiest gas. I can barely stand to be in the same room with myself. Hoping the new blood will give me some energy!!! I'm sure the scan will be favorable this time it's the next one that will be the real test. I felt so bad this morning Travis had to push me around the hospital in a wheel chair. As Gavin says, "that's not good"

Feeling misserable

2010-05-18T14:40:00.001-05:00

I was in so much joint pain from the chemo today I was in tears. It is crazy that cancer is caused by inflamation but chemo inflames the body. And they wonder why it doesn't work, go figure

Ray Of Life Race

2010-05-18T08:25:00.001-05:00

If you plan to run June 12 in Piedmont Park please sign up ASAP on line so we can order enough shirts. Last year 80 people signed up online but 300 ran so not everyone got a shirt. Thanks again for all your support. www.rayofliferace.com

Can't wait to see you all there

Frustrated

2010-05-17T23:21:00.002-05:00

Blood work looked good today so I got chemo, but my red blood cells are lower than ever before so they want to give me a blood transfusion. Not sure what to think about that.

Just over a year ago I was all set to run the Marine Corps Marathon. Instead, I get poison administered into mg body weekly, I get huge needles shoved in my arm to boost my immune system, I get shots in my ass and colonics to rid my system of toxins. I eat and drink expensive horrible tasting concoctions, I go in and out of menopause, lose my hair all over, vomit, shit so bad it throws my back into spasms, my nails fall off or grow weird, my extremities tingle, food tastes metallic, steroids make me fat, hungry, and mean. I can't work but still have student loan dept, life insurance won't cover me, Medicare is a joke can't wait until the government runs all health insurance...headaches, constipation, bills frustration...

And chemo only works for testicular, blood, and one other kind of cancer. It doesn't even work for mine. Each drug gives me 3-6 more months not years, months. The new trial adds 6 weeks if I'm lucky, wahoo.

I saw a guy younger than me who weighs close to nothing at Emory today who could not drink a glads of water his sister bright him. I told Travis I WILL NOT GO OUT THAT WAY.

I had the big pharma who are keeping me alive just long enough to administer their newest and greatest drug. Find out why were getting it instead of putting a bandaid after the fact.

Another day of chemo

2010-05-10T08:14:00.001-05:00

My white blood cells went up so I was able to get chemo last week. I got a 103 fever, aches, basicly flu like symptoms. It lasted 24 hours , went to Progressive and they worked their magic to make me feel about 80 percent. Not looking forward to that again today but this med is working so I can't complain. Scan in a few weeks...

Ray of Life

2010-04-28T21:29:00.005-05:00

Thursday night i was so sick, 103 temp, chills, aches, etc. My flight for Cali was leaving at 8:30 AM and i wasn't sure i was going to be on it until i woke up the next day. Travis had to pack for me and luckily I felt good when i woke up. Made it to Sacto, had a great time with my parents, had dinner with two high school friends, had a college roommate stay at my parents with me, went shopping on Saturday with my mom and my friend Gavin (what a trooper) and then went to the best fitting funeral for the deceased i have ever been to. Gary could not have planned it better himself. It was so nice to be with the Stilwell family and say so long to a man i have know since i was five. Hugs and kisses

Monday went to Emory and my white blood cells were still to low so i couldn't get Chemo again, but my tumor marker is know below 100 so i am feeling really good about that. I am changing my diet up once again to almost no food so i can become totally alkaline. Cancer cant grow in this type of environment so it is worth a shot. If i don't loose weight this way, i am not going to lose it on anything.

On June 12th my friends are once again holding the Ray of Life Race in Piedmont Park. If you go to the website www.rayofliferace.com you can sign up and get all the info.

Thanks again to everyone involved. I am so excited!!! Off to Philly this weekend for a metastatic breast cancer conference. Rocky here i come :)

GMO's

2010-04-21T19:43:00.001-05:00

Dear Friend,

As you know, America's food system is broken as a result of giant corporations continuing to fight against common sense regulations that would protect America's from unsafe food and our right to know where our food comes from.

I just signed a letter to FDA Deputy Commissioner of Food Michael Taylor and USDA Deputy Secretary Kathleen Merrigan asking that they not stifle international and U.S. regulations regarding the labeling of GMO food. It's important that American's know how their food is grown. We have a right to know what's in our food and the U.S. government should not be working to stifle these basic rights.

Please take a moment to join me at Food Democracy Now! by signing their petition.

http://action.fooddemocracynow.org/cms/sign/stop_the_sneak_attack/

Thank you!

Forgot to update

2010-04-20T13:34:00.001-05:00

My tumor is 9 cm and There is cancer in three of the four lobes, not to mention one of the tumor markers that should be at 50 got up to 600 but after the first treatment I could feel my tumor getting smaller and my maker after 3 treatments is down to 122. Very exciting

Chronic illnesses

2010-04-20T13:28:00.001-05:00

I'm at the clinic today and my friend sitting next to me, my neighbor and many others have immune issues such as limes disease, MS, lupas, etc. Don't get the support they deserve. Cancer gets all the attention because death may come sooner than these other deseases but in reality they suffer the same if not more than us cancer patients do. They are in sever pain and struggle with fatigue. So here is to all my friends with the silent killers who don't get the support they need. If you know someone with a sillent disease offer them some help if u can as if they have cancer. I'm sure they would appreciate the help.

White blood count low

2010-04-19T22:33:00.001-05:00

My whiteblood count was so low today that I couldn't get my chemo. The nurse said that was common with the new meds I'm taking, but we were disapointed since this is working so well thus far. I am noticing the joint aches more now and isrem to run a low grade fever most of the time. I think I am freezing my family. It is like having hot flashes again. I spoke with my alternitive place and they want me in the hyperbaric chamber daily. That will give me more time to blog. I figured out how to blog from my phone so you'll hear from me more often now. Hoping for more white blood cells next week.

I'm heading to Cali this weekend for my best friends dads funeral while Travis will be here with the kids. Hope we all survive.

Caio for now
Laura

More bad news

2010-03-22T21:01:00.003-05:00

My scan came back and it is not as good as we had hoped. My tumor is larger and the lymphs around my lower aorta have formed a mass. I see the doctor on Thursday and we will know more, but I'm thinking that it may be causing my stomach to hurt every time i eat. It is like i am preggers. I can only eat small amounts and have to be very careful what i eat. Like my diet wasn't already restricted. I went from gaining 15 pounds in 8 weeks from the steroid to losing 10 pounds in 2 weeks from this new issue. It is a giant roller coaster

Travis and I are watching FOOD Inc. and did you know that 80% off our meat is sprayed with ammonia to kill the e-coli and Chickens are bathed in chlorine, I am so disgusted. I usually buy free-range organic but I am only going to buy it now. Not to mention I am not eating meat out anymore except Fogo's!!!

Will update on Thursday to let you know what we find out.

Friends and Disney, can't ask for more.

2010-02-23T22:59:00.003-05:00

My friends from Cali are flying in this weekend to hang and have fun and all i can think of is taking them to all my favorite restaurants. Whats another 10 pounds... There are so many fun things to do in the ATL, but food sounds so much better on steroids. Then for Sammy's birthday we are off to Disney for a great, fun, relaxing trip together. I love when we can just spend time together away from the hospital, school, obligations, etc.

Gavin on the other hand is going thru the terrible 3 1/2 stage. He is soooooooo challenging, but so cute at the same time. I cant wait until this phase is over. Sammy is being so good with him and helping me so much. This will get her so ready for her two new little brothers who will be arriving soon, Joshua & Henry. Sammy is still beside herself that all she wanted was a little sister and she is going to have 3 little brothers. BTW, Dr. Deb, Sammy's step mom, is the pregnant one not me.

Well I'm having a sleepless night so feel free to text, email, blog, FB, whatever!

Have a great night sleeping,
Laura

St Baldricks

2010-02-17T13:07:00.002-05:00

Travis is shaving his head again for St Baldricks. If you have not heard of St. Baldricks go to www.stbaldricks.org. They are an organization that raises money for childhood cancer research. He and I shaved our heads at Fado in 2007 when we first were diagnosed.

Go to https://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/tvickers to donate to the cause.

Love my family

2010-02-14T16:12:00.002-05:00

Gavin's been running around YELLING "Happy Valentines Day Mommy, I love you" and Sammy wants to get me pink roses. Travis took us to breakfast and we are sitting around watching the Olympics after a fun day at the park and snow ball fights. These amazing days remind me why fighting is so important and why i am so thankful for all of you and your help. My new schedule is complicated, but worth every second if i can keep this pesky tumor at bay. Tuesday's and Thursdays i have chemo, Mondays and Wednesdays are alternative treatments to boost my immune system, and I am trying to take Fridays off. We will see if it works. I did take this Friday off and had a wonderful breakfast with a friend and got to hang with the kids since they had 1/2 day.

We will scan again in a few weeks to see if this new treatment is working. It is kind of crazy because the only way to know if this is all working is to scan, but the radiation from the scans can cause Leukemia. So say your prayers that we can keep this from happening or spreading more.

Happy Valentines Day

Party like a rock star

2010-01-31T18:08:00.002-05:00

Friday night a big group of people gathered in California to raise money for me. Even the band who doesn't know me donated their fee. They collected around $15,000 and had a great time. Even my parents danced the night away. I cant thank everyone enough, it is overwhelming the support you have all shown through all of this. I still cant believe that i am the one with cancer after all this time. It still doesn't hit me until we get more bad news and sad to report we got more bad news on Thursday. My stinky little tumor in my liver just keeps getting bigger and bigger, but we are hopeful since it has not reoccurred anywhere else. So keep praying, hoping, wishing, thinking and we can kick this together.

Thanks again to everyone,
Love the Vickers

IPT

2010-01-25T17:50:00.003-05:00

Today was my first IPT treatment. I got 11 shots (one Travis got to give me in the rump and i think he enjoyed it a little to much). I get 10 of these everyday for two weeks and the one Travis gives me once a day for a year. They are $40 per shot plus the $4000 we pay for other costs per month, so do the math and we are really shelling out the cash again. The new drugs seemed to go okay today. The side effects are nausea, hair loss, fatigue, about the same as the previous 11 i have been on so not much new. I do have to be on a steroid again which just really pisses me off, but here's to angry Laura.

Several people have been asking about donations and Travis put a link on this website if you feel so inclined and we so appreciate every single penny you give. We spent about $70,000 last year and are expecting our costs to rise this year.

My friends in Sacto are having a fundraiser for me. Here is the website if you're interested in going. It should be lots of fun. Wonderbread 5 is playing at the Power House Pub from 5 until 9:30. To purchase tickets you can log onto www.powerhousepub.com/ click on tickets. My event is the Private Party until 9:30. If you have any questions you can call Jen Ham (707) 235-2277 or Tab (916) 548-3131. Thanks for everyone for doing, going, donating, supporting, praying, etc. We are so grateful to all of you.

BTW my boy lost last night and i am so sad for him. I cant believe the last pro pass he will ever throw was intercepted. I couldn't even sleep last night thinking about his departure. I wish him all the best and will miss his enthusiasm, endurance, and his pretty face. I love you Brett

Laura & Travis

As Arnold would say, "The Tumor"

2010-01-08T23:49:00.002-05:00

Unfortunately, the Tumor is getting bigger. It is almost back to its original size from a year ago. The good news it that it hasn't spread any where else yet. We meet with the oncologist Monday about our options and Tuesday with a doctor who performs IPT treatments. Although they have been doing IPT for over 25 years, it is still not FDA approved and therefore not covered under insurance. Luckily my Cali friends are having a fundraiser for me this month to help cover the $6000 a month we will be dishing out. Wish us luck and thanks for all your support, prayers, and donations. Will post the info about the fundraiser tomorrow.

BTW, we got some snow last night and had a great day off from school. Gavin had on Sammy's old snowboarding suit and was cracking us up. He would fall and slide, but then pop back up since he is only 2.5 feet off the ground. It was great.

Bone Scan

2009-12-23T23:28:00.002-05:00

Thank God the bone scan came back clear. The Vickers household is very happy. Thanks again for all your prayers.

I have another CT in January to see if there is further growth in my liver and that will determine what we do next.

Merry Christmas and I will chat with you in 2010, can you believe it?

Test Results

2009-12-14T19:21:00.003-05:00

I had a CT scan last Monday and the results are not what we had hoped. Things were going along just fine, but then after 6 months things seem to fall apart. The tumor in my liver has grown. Not substantially, but enough for some concern. The trial will let us stay for now, but we are on the hunt for a new one and some alternatives. We're playing Russian roulette here. Do we stay with traditional that seems to fail every six months or go completely alternative and give IPT a shot? Timing seems to be everything. The more we read about traditional the more concerned we get. I feel like an hourglass is constantly running and i need to act fast.

To make matters worse, the side effects are coming on strong. My rib cage on the right side is completely out of whack so they are going to do a bone scan on Wednesday to see if it has metastasized to my bones. More waiting...

Then today i got a UTI. I have never been in so much pain. I was pissing blood with pains shooting up my back and then proceeded to vomit violently in the doctor's office. The good thing is that they gave me morphine for the pain. Yeah morphine (that is my drug of choice for so many reasons). Its the little things in life that makes me so happy.

I also have really bad mouth sores that only cold water seems to help, but then it makes me have to pee and that hurts the other area...

I may not get my Christmas letter out until 2010, but i guess better late than never right?

Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas,
Love the Vickers

Long time no share

2009-12-04T12:25:00.003-05:00

This month has been uneventful. Chemo on Mondays, Medical Center on Tuesdays and Thursdays, work, grocery shopping, Hyperbaric, magnatherm, and chiropractor on Wednesdays and Fridays. Not much time for a life, but atleast I'm alive. I have an Eco, CT, and another test scheduled for Monday so i will post the results when we get them back. The big one will show how my heart infraction is doing. If it dips below 50% they will kick my off the trial and then we are SOL. Funny my mom asked what SOL meant. Anyways the kids are great and Travis is working hard at both work and home. He was so kind on Tuesday night. We thought it was my chemo, but think i caught a stomach bug and was up all night barfing. He made me ginger tea, got me electrolyte water, and held my hair. He's a keeper.

Heading to the SEC championship game tomorrow, very excited. We were able to see Tebow play his last game in the swamp, oh so many tears.

A Request

2009-11-13T21:10:00.002-05:00

Noah Biorkman and he and his family are celebrating Christmas early this year. Noah is 5 years old, in hospice and most likely wont make it to December 25th. He has been fighting Neuroblastoma for 2 1/2 years and is loosing the battle against cancer. His one request is to receive lots of Christmas cards before he dies. Therefore I am asking that each of you send him a card so he can have the best Christmas ever. Noah said an angel figurine ornament was his favorite because it reminded him of where he’ll soon be “In heaven, and I’m going to be an angel.” His mom said she is asking to send $1 in a card to the family and they will donate it to the University Of Michigan neuroblastoma research center and the Michigan Make A Wish Chapter.
Cards can be sent to:
Noah Biorkman
1141 Fountain View Circle
South Lyon, MI, 48178

Merry early Christmas
Laura, Travis, Sammy & Gavin

Post Reunion

2009-10-30T23:06:00.002-05:00

Last weekend was my 20th class reunion and i had a blast. It was so much fun to see all my old friends and find out what they have been up to for the last 20 years. There were several people i don't remember and most people didn't recognize me since my "hair" isn't blond anymore. I was so touched with all the incredible well wishes including a friend and his wife who run Ironmans in my honor since i cant do them anymore. I was blown away and felt so loved by all my friends. The class even made a donation for the few of us that have breast cancer. Thanks guys.

The kids had a great time with my parents and I was able to show Travis a few more amazing sites in California. We saw my old roommate Gavin and his family in Monterrey and the Monterrey Bay Aquarium then went to Pebble Beach and Carmel. I forgot how amazing the beach is in Carmel. Travis couldn't believe the size of the waves and the kids were shocked at how cold the water was, but it was a perfect day and made me really miss the west coast. Thanks for the hospitality Pierce family, we had a great time.

This trip really made me realize that i cant have drama in my life anymore. I'm to sick and to tired to worry about everyone else. Therefore, if you get your feelings hurt because of something i did or did not do, it is not on purpose i just don't have the energy to do everything I would like to do. My mind thinks I'm still my old self, but my body just wont let me do what everyone else wants me to do. That being said, i am planing a cruise for my 40th birthday next October. I'm inviting anyone who wants to come. A friend is going to plan the trip and i will let you know more details when i get them. We will be headed somewhere in the Caribbean and not sure if it will be just girls, couples, or families. I guess it depends on the cost.

BTW...Besides the lingering cough, I'm finally getting over the flu and feeling much better. I'm trying to get back into my routine but I'm having a rough time. I'll be glad to get my IV's next week, boost my immune system and get some energy back.

Happy Halloween from "Darf Mador & Major Flirt with gun shots (?)"

Not feeling great

2009-10-08T19:47:00.002-05:00

Sammy was so kind to give me her cold and it has hit me like a ton of bricks. I cant swallow, my ears are ringing, headache, cough, mouth soars, etc. It is like i have the flew without the fever. Anyways just trying to sleep it off and take care of myself. Kind of difficult but doing the best i can. Hopefully i will get over this before we go to Cali. I was told not to write when we are going out of town, but looking forward to our upcoming trips. It is always great to get out of our day to day grind and see friends.

I'm getting so tired of going to the doctors every day. I get so down and stressed sometimes i want to just give up, but then i look at the kids and think this is so much bigger than just me. If i can keep up with cooking, eating, and 122 supplements per day i do well, but when i slip up then i feel really crappy. I get caught in this vicious cycle and it is so demanding. Then add the stress of home, the kids, etc. and my life seems overwhelming. Looking forward to a day with less doctors, less bills, less stress and more fun.

Sammy has been just incredible. The last two nights Travis has had stuff after work and taking care of Gavin by myself gets really difficult. After a few tears, Sammy gave me a big hug and got me Gavin's boxing bag to take out my frustrations. Although exhausting we had so much fun and had some laughs. She is such a Godsend and Gavin's "I wove you Mommy" just makes my day.

I would also like to ask for your prayers for Pauline Wiggins who just had a stroke. She is the mom of the uncle who just died on Travis' side. She is an incredible cook and is our Thanksgiving grandma. She is such a great person and want her to know she is in my prayers.

Trying to stay strong,
Laura

Great Weekend

2009-09-29T13:44:00.002-05:00

This weekend my friend flew me up to Milwaukee and we had a great time. It may be my new favorite city in September, thanks Jodie and Matt. Coincidentally we went down to the lake and saw all the walkers for the 3 day. They had huge pink fountains so that was an added bonus. We are going to try and pick a fall marathon for next year, very excited and start a girls trip in the spring so we can see each other more often, YEAH. I got the kids some "cheese" shirts and i had to get a Packers shirt. Very disappointed that the only Favre stuff left was on the clearance rack, but he did play great this weekend sorry to all my SF fans. Anyways we have a few more trips planned this year and it has been so great to travel since i put that all on hold the last two years. I miss my friends. My 20 year reunion is coming up so that will be lots of fun. Most of these people i haven't see since my 10 year or since graduation since i live 3000 miles away. Were also going to get to see my friend Gavin and go to the Monterrey Bay Aquarium. Cant wait. Anyways, feeling good, just tired. Just read about an 8 year girl named Lily who was diagnosed with stage IV neuroblastoma (sp) it is also in her brain, bones and abdomen. Please keep her in your prayers.

Last Few Weeks

2009-09-22T19:17:00.002-05:00

Sorry i haven't posted in a few weeks. I have really been struggling since my steroids have kicked in. I have been so hungry and had roid rage. All i want to do is eat and yell at everyone. I started gaining weight and i was mad at myself because i know I'm not eating the right foods. Then i started feeling really tired and eating worse. The vicious cycle started and i couldn't pull myself out of it. I was able to get my steroid cut in half and I'm hoping this will help me get back on tract.

Travis and i were able to go to Gainesville for the Florida vs Tennessee game all by ourselves. It was amazing. Our friends took Gavin all weekend and that was a feet in it self, thanks SK and Chad. We got the dog covered, the kids, and had such a great weekend together. We were able to see friends, stay out until 10 (it felt like midnight), and sleep until 9. It was heavenly. Travis and i realized that we really need to do this more often. It is so great that we have such great friends.

On Monday we received word that my lyphnodes are in fact cancer free. Now i just have to work on my liver. The tumor is still the same size, but not bigger. We are both very happy with this news. So again, thank you all for the money to help us battle this together.

The bad news is my heart is getting weaker and weaker. I feel conflicted, I may beat the cancer but then have a very bad heart. I know living with a weak heart is better than the alternative, but it does concern me. What if i cant run ever again, what if i am in danger of having a heart attack, will i get so weak that i feel tired all the time. These are my concerns and it is very scary to think what is saving my life could also be killing me.

Hoping for a better week

Ordinary Monday

2009-08-31T13:49:00.002-05:00

No one made mistakes today , no one forgot my premeds, no one made me wait 4 hours, no one hurt me, so today was quite out of the ordinary. I could get used to this.

I keep thinking God is sending me in a direction of helping first time cancer patients. I am not one to make small talk or give advice unless asked, i obviously didn't get this trait from my mom (she loves to give unsolicited advice), but every time i see one of these new patients i want to reach out and tell them how life really is at Emory. Not to scare them, but to educate them on how to be there own health advocate. I get my chemo in the phase II trial bay so i see several new patients each time i go. These patients get inundated with tons of info that they will not remember and really don't need. These doctors have no idea what it feels like the first time a patient gets chemo infused into there body, but i do. I can just sit there and hold there hand if need be. Not sure how or when i can do this, but i find myself reaching out every Monday one way or another. I see the scared looks on the women's faces and the helplessness a husband feels. Travis keeps saying i got cancer for a reason and he thinks he has figured out his role and now i think i may have figured out mine. Just need to figure out the logistics.

Funny Story

On Sunday we were walking out of church with 3000 other members and I got corralled behind Travis. He did not know this nor did the wife of the guy next to me. The husbands had on similar shirts and were about the same height. She reached for Travis' hand and with out looking he took it. I looked at her husband, he looked at me and we both called out our spouses names. Travis looked back at me, looked at the women he was holding hands with, and every one busted up. We thought it was really comical considering the preacher was just talking about cheating...I think Travis will check who he is holding hands with from now on. We are still laughing about it.

Cant wait for the first game this weekend. SEC Football, so much fun. Unless you went to Notre Dame, Michigan, Ohio, etc. you haven't experienced what real SEC football is all about. Everyone, even if you don't like football, should experience a game once in there life. I recommend the Florida vs. Georgia game in Jacksonville around Halloween, largest tailgate in the US. So much fun if you can get a ticket. More than 80,000 people attend the game and lots more just go and party. Those of you not affiliated with "Jorts" should look it up. People watching is half the fun. Of course beer goggles never hurt the experience, but lack of restrooms can.

Have a great week and i will check in next Tuesday. Funny they are so strict with my schedule unless they have a holiday...
Laura

CT update

2009-08-25T04:12:00.002-05:00

Travis and i would like to thank you all for your prayers and $ cause it looks like they are working. Saw the doctor yesterday and the tumor in my liver has not changed in size, so that is good. The better news, still need clarification from the doc, is there are no other lesions in the abdomen. We asked if there are no comments on these because there are non or they just didn't change, so waiting to hear about that, but very excited if there are non except the liver lesion and tumor. I of course was hoping they would find no cancer at all, but the doc said these meds may show more improvement the next scan in three months not to mention i wasn't taking any meds for two months and the cancer could have progressed and then regressed. We will never know, but the news is promising.

When i was at the doctors yesterday i had a nice surprise from a friend i hadn't seen in quite some time. So thanks for the visit and the laughs Heller.

Here's to healthy eating and the 48 supplements i take everyday.
Laura

1970-2060 or more

2009-08-20T16:23:00.002-05:00

I, Laura Elizabeth Maciej, was born July 23, 1970 in Long Beach, California to a couple who were in college and couldn't keep me. They decided to give me up for adoption to a Catholic couple who likes to camp. That i got. Bill and Cathie brought me home when i was just 3 days old and then added my sister 2.5 years later. We moved to Sacramento when i was young and i attended two different Catholic schools and two public schools. I went to college in Santa Barbara where i met Charlie (Sammy's Dad). We moved to St. Simon's Island in 1992 and after a year there we decided we needed a larger city. We headed north to Atlanta in 1993, got married in 1994, had Samantha in 2000, and separated in 2001. I started dating Travis thereafter and have been happily married since 2005. Charlie and I remain friends and our spouses both went to UF so how could they not like each other. Charlie and Debbie are actually the guardians of our children since we would never want to separate them if something happens to us. Everyone laughs at our relationship, but it works for us and it works for Sammy. We even spend holidays with Charlie and his parents. It is just one huge extended family around here.

Any ways, i am an accountant by trade, but due to the cancer, i only work about 6 hours per week at the kids school. It keeps my brain going and gets me out of the house. I started running in 1998 and have completed several marathons and tackled the Ironman in 2001. I still have plans to do another one in my 40th year, but only time will tell. I have two amazing kids who challenge me and make me smile each and every day. Travis is a partner in an architectural firm based in Orlando. He is the rock of our family and am so lucky to have him in my life. I am sure all of you can add stuff to my little life story so feel free. Sammy would love it.

Here's to a long and healthy life,
Laura

Last few weeks

2009-08-20T16:10:00.002-05:00

Not much to report. I did have a CT scan Monday and should get the results next week to see how well everything is working. I cant imagine it not, I am doing everything under the sun to kill this sucker. My hair is almost gone and am getting used to my wig. Will post a picture soon.

The kids started school today so i am hoping to get some exercise. Even walking around the block would be so great. I have been experimenting with cooking and the farmers market and am so excited that even Travis likes the food i am making and everything is so healthy. I think i am slowly converting him to a Californian. He rented a Prius today in Orlando for business and is eating spinach. For those of you who know him well, that is so funny.

Travis' uncle died two weeks ago and we found it quite odd to see what life has in store for us. We all die, but Travis and i thought it was so fascinating that we really new very little about this man. He was his uncle, but we learned so much more about his life after the fact. So i thought it would be fun to write my own obituary so you could all know me before my funeral (in 50 years). Gavin just woke up so i will post maybe tonight.

Hugs

Mouth better but not sleeping

2009-08-04T06:21:00.002-05:00

My mouth is so much better. I found a tree bark from Africa that cleared it up in 2 days, yeah. If i could just sleep on Monday nights. The steroid wakes me up at 3 Am ish and then i cant go back to sleep. The good part is i get an IV on Tuesdays for three hours so i can sleep then. I have been cooking up a storm and Travis will actually eat some of it. I am so proud of him. Sammy has been cooking and getting into healthy food too. Gavin eats whatever i put in front of him. Found out this week that insurance denied all our claims for Progressive Medicine. More phone calls, paper work and frustration...

Gavin turns 3 on Sunday, i just cant believe my baby is getting so big. We went to the farmers market on Saturday and had such a great time, just him and me. We usually do not venture out like that since my energy level is in no comparison to his, but we had a great day. For my birthday Sammy took me on a shopping spree and wanted to find clothes that make me look younger. We had a great day on Sunday. I think we were both exhausted from shopping.

Had a little breakdown last week and told Sammy how sad i am so sad not to be my old self and always snapping at the kids due to my steroids. We both shed some tears but i think she realizes now that it is the meds and not me or her. We just need to pray that Travis can realize this also or he might commit me soon. Everything just pisses me off, poor guy. Not to mention Gavin has been sleeping with us so you know what that means. I think i need to be more creative.

Any who,
hoping to have scans soon so we can see if all this is working
hugs and kisses
laura

Wonderful sitter found

2009-07-28T20:10:00.002-05:00

Thank you all so much for your help. I received 29 emails regarding sitters. I will keep all this info just in case Caren finds a job before the kids go to school. So please know i got all your responses and will try to get back to each one of you. I am overwhelmed how many people are out of work and even more touch that so many people are willing to help us.

I have found smoothies to be a great source of nutrition since my mouth is raw. I am trying to duplicate them at home on a healthy level, but i just cant get the consistency right. Try try again.

Lots of thanks
Laura

In Need of a Sitter

2009-07-26T10:45:00.003-05:00

I'm sorry if you have already given me this info, but i am in desperate need of a sitter until school starts in September. I need a person who can drive, who can come to my house, and can sit on Mondays all day and Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:30 until 3 ish. If you know of anyone please let me know. I have this Monday covered this week but then i am SOL.

We had a great time at the beach. It was nice to have a week off from hospitals, doctors, and i did cheat some on food. I am paying for it now, but it was great last week. Travis and our sitter "YaYa" were so great. I spent many days just lounging in a chair, reading, and relaxing. My hair is cumming out in massive clumps, but not willing to shave it just yet. Gavin gave me his cold and cough and i have really bad mouth sores from my meds. Not sure how to brush my teeth with out lots of pain, but Travis said my breath might kill someone so i need to figure something out. Not feeling so great today, but need to get to Whole Foods to make my chicken broth so i don't become frail, sickly looking and bald.

We are off to Emory for treatment tomorrow. Hopefully i can get the mouth sores under control.

Hugs and Kisses
Laura

Day Three

2009-07-15T19:54:00.002-05:00

Things are going much smoother at Emory and my heart infraction is looking better per the cardiologist. Still need to see the doc about some other heart issue, but the nurse wasn't sure what it was. We are headed to the beach for our annual trip with Travis' family. I love that we are at the beach every year for my birthday. It makes it so special. We also have some friends coming over to stay a few days and our sitter is going so I am very excited. We were just realizing how much easier it gets every year that the kids get older. Sammy packed for herself and we don't need any baby stuff this year, YEAH. We can actually fit the sitter in the car this year. The alternative treatments are going so great. Although I spend about 18 hours a week at the doctors, i have so much more energy than last time. I think i might be loosing my hair, but I'm not barfing so always good things coming my way.

I wanted to thank everyone again for all your donations to help me fight this disease. The bills are out of control, but with all your help they are manageable. Also to all those who did not get a thank you note we did attempt, but about 20 got returned. Please accept our sincerest apologies.

Much love, Laura

Day two of Trial

2009-07-06T16:00:00.002-05:00

Today went much better than the first day. We were able to cut off four hours since we didn't have to see the doctor. The meds are not making me sick, just waiting to see if my hair is going to fall out., so sad if it does. The only real issue at the moment is the steroid hunger. I am having the same grumpy, starving feeling as before. I had to give in and just eat normal food today. I will keep eating my really healthy food the rest of the week and give in to temptation on Mondays. I have to fast before my blood work and then don't eat until 2 ish. You add the steroids and i am an eating machine. I even had sugar today, OMG i feel so guilty. It is kind of hard to find a fast food restaurant that servers all organic, no sugar, no dairy, no wheat or gluten, no alcohol, and only grass feed meat. I just have to do my best and am doing really good so far.

Not sure if i mentioned in the past posts, but we found an alternative to this treatment if i get kicked out of the trial due to my heart or i decided to back out my self due to my heart. My ejection fraction rate is what is giving me the problems http://www.answers.com/topic/ejection-fraction. Mine went from 69% a year ago to 50. I saw the cardiologist on Thursday to get a baseline so he can monitor my heart rather than the trial telling me i am still fine. Don't have much faith in "their eyes." Anyways I found a method called IPT http://www.answers.com/topic/ejection-fraction. It uses less chemo and goes to the cancer cells instead of all the cells so it keeps my immune system in tact to help fight the disease. It sounds wonderful and it is, but it is not FDA approved and traditional doctors are scared of it, but it they have no more options for me what do i have to loose. I have spoken with several patients that have done it and they love it and it is working. I feel much better that i have options now and wont have to just keep searching for new trials if this one fails.

Had a great forth in the mountains with our friends. Hope yours was great also.

Much love
Laura

First Day of Trial

2009-06-29T19:42:00.002-05:00

We arrived at Emory at 8:00 AM this morning and first thing was to get an EKG, but they didn't have my orders so I went to another building had blood work and got paper work for EKG and went back to get it done. This made me 20 minutes late for my Doctors appointment, but didn't really matter since they made us wait an hour for just a 3 minute visit. We finally go to the infusion room at 10:30 and got in trial ward at 11:40. There were many issues so they didn't start my chemo until 1:00. We finally left at 5:40. It was a very long day with may "issues" that could have been very bad, but of course they covered their asses and made it out to be nothing. My heart infraction keeps getting lower and lower and the meds i am currently taking and the "issue" today will not help this problem in the least. Travis and i are researching other ideas since my last doctor said i would have to get off these drugs if my infraction was below 50 and i was at 50 today. The current trial doctor doesn't seemed to worried but i am not not sure if she is looking out for me or the trial. Don't have much confidence in these doctors. Two huge errors in 3 weeks. Not good odds. Keep praying that Travis and i can made a decision and then be able to manage the process. Thanks for all the text, emails, posts, etc. It is so nice to hear from all of you.
Thanks again,
Laura

As Sammy says, "It Was Awesome"

2009-06-26T13:29:00.004-05:00

Not only did we vacation with Shaq, but the weather was perfect. We snorkeled, dived, kayaked, went down numerous water slides, basked in the sun, swam in the eight pools, played in the waterfalls, watched moves under the stars, sailed, ate, drank at the swim up bar, Sammy got her hair braided, slept really well in our amazing room, and had a blast. We are so grateful to our special friend who flew us first class and everyone else who contributed to our amazing vacation. It was so much fun to have a "cancer free" week. Glad to be back and am ready to start chemo on Monday. Travis' dad is so gracious to come again since our sitter is leaving for Cali for the month of July. We look forward to our beach trip in a few weeks, but really what can beat Sammy's dream vacation.

I will post on Monday and let you all know how it goes...

Turks and Caicos

2009-06-15T18:28:00.002-05:00

Well thanks to a few friends we are able to take the trip of a life time to Turks and Caicos in the Caribbean and all of us get to go first class...We are so excited to get away, lay on the beach, and play with the kids. A little worried what i am going to eat, but i hear the fish is amazing. They have a huge water park, it is all-inclusive, and they have child care. Cant wait to post some pictures. Will start the trial when we get back.

First Day...NOT

2009-06-08T20:05:00.002-05:00

Got up at 6:15 AM, had the sitter spend the night, trucked 40 minutes to Emory, had blood drawn, saw the doctor, spent the next two hours in a chair waiting for my drugs to come and then got the news...I can't start for another week or so. I was to say the least not very happy. Luckily my friend came to visit while Travis was at work and was able to take me home. Thanks Cindy. I am feeling great and am loving Progressive Medicine. They have given me new life. Will let you know when i will actually be starting the meds. Should be June 22nd or 29th. We will see

More soon